Now You see Me, Now You don't
by ZakuroUta7
Summary: Continuation of my one-shot, 'I know He's real, I've felt Him' Shiro has been brought into the real universe with Ichigo, and the Berry couldn't be happier, but what are Shirosaki's intentions? Can Ichigo give him a brand new incentive to live?THIS IS STRONG: Lemons, boy on boy, AU, violence, drug use, foul language (SLIGHT RAPE-ISH THEMES SO DON'T CLICK IF YOU DON'T LIKE)
1. Yo Pops

A/N: Errr… H-hey everyone ^^" really sorry for my late update, but I have this up now and I'll explain myself after this. ONWARDS!

**Warning;** This fic contains HARD yaoi and more mature language, Grimm-kitty, and Shriosaki make up for the most of it. If any of that offends you then please scram and find something else to read ^^. This story is going to based off of, DIFFERENT POV (Ichigo, Isshin, Shiro) and occasionally Normal POV. (Point of View)

**Disclaimer**; I do not own any part of Bleach, characters belong to Tite Kubo and no one else.

[This story is set RIGHT after how the ending of 'I know he's real, I've Felt him' so if you wanna get caught up then I suggest you read it (I think it's a good read, and a nice lemon to make it worth your while ^^) but if you don't then let me break it down to you;

_18 year old Ichigo Kurosaki has a life far from a normal young adult. Instead of enjoying his last year at Karakura High with his friends, going out and enjoying life, as he is ready to fly on his own, he is locked up in his room. After an incident where the orange head experiences a pair of gold on obsidian eyes, he is left traumatized. Nightmares plagued his mind for months, he began screaming in agony in hopes someone will help him, which resulted in Isshin Kurosaki going over the edge. In hopes that no one will have to witness his son losing his mind, a worried father takes Ichigo out of school, and forces him to cut all ties with his friends. It was only a matter of time before the orange-head had enough, unable to bear the life he was handed, he wanted to die. Little did he know his own salvation was hiding by closely, anticipating for the perfect time to catch his King when he fell. After a night with Shirosaki, the orange head's faith is restored for the world. And now, with Ichigo's new love, is Isshin willing to accept the fact that he was wrong the whole time_?

'_Maybe I can stay like this forever, maybe I can eventually exist all on my own.'_

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><p><em><span>Normal POV<span>_

The middle aged raven stared at the white figure before him, a pale copy of his own son. Standing at about 5'11" with a swimmer-like body type and spiky locks, the two could've been twins. The man had an eerie yet beautiful look about his aura; his hair rivaled that of moonlight and his skin like ivory, but Isshin couldn't bring himself to look into the eyes of his son's new boyfriend; they were inverted, molten gold irises floated on top of an onyx sea that were his sclera. A quick glance at the eyes proved to be a bad idea, the raven could've sworn he saw a hint of malicious intent in the albino's eyes, but it was quickly replaces by a playful glint.

"Yo, pops. Are ya there? Ya just keep lookin' down is everythin' alrigh'?"

Isshin cleared his throat and smiled confidently, only a fraction of his façade, truthfully the teen scared him a little. He grasped the albino's hand and gave it a firm shake.

"Nonsense, I'm more that perfect, my boy's got himself a man! And call me Isshin, what are your intentions with my son exactly?"

"Dad that's none—"

"Nah Ichi, it's alrigh', yer dad needs ta know abou' me alittle don't he?"

The raven lifted an eyebrow in question at the albino left his son's side and walked towards him slowly. He stood in front of him and gave a smile that resembled more of a smirk as he cocked his head to the side.

"Ya wanna go somewhere ta talk, sir?"

The raven only nodded as walked towards the front door, Shirosaki following close behind and leaving the oranget with awestruck eyes. Questions and assumptions whipped around the middle-aged man's head like an angry twister, who is this young man exactly? Why Ichigo? Why does he seem so familiar? Was he wrong the entire time?

_Isshin's POV_

"So, what exactly did ya need ta talk to me abou', Isshin?"

I turned to look at the boy in front of me; his eyes hand long lost their previous glint but were now on me waiting for an answer, his arms were crossed over his chest. I cleared my throat and stuffed my fists in my pockets and rested my weight on my left leg. I gave my best poker face and smiled at Shirosaki.

"Well. I just want to know, what exactly do you want with my son? Are you able to treat him right?"

The albino raised an eyebrow as he pondered for a moment then chuckled softly. "Well of course, I really care abou' Ichi, sir." His answer came clear and without hesitation, so I figured it couldn't have been a charade.

"What exactly do you do, Shirosaki?"

"M' still a student, so I don' really 'ave a job righ' now."

"Oh? And where are your parents living?"

His honey gold eyes widened suddenly as his whole body stiffened, he seemed embarrassed for a moment as he rubbed the back of his neck like a kid being scolded.

"Uhh, w-well ya see—"

"Dad can I talk to you for a sec? Shiro, you can wait inside I got this."

_Shiro's POV_

'Bam. Jus' perfect.'

"Ne, ok Ichi I'll see ya inside alrigh'?"

He gave me a quick look and a small grin. "Yea, I'll be there in just a little."

I turned and headed back inside, grinning wildly. I was pretty fucking happy that I didn't have to answer that question, I hadn't thought of an answer to something like that yet. I walked back into the living room and plopped down onto the couch comfortably, and closed my eyes.

"…Che.. 'ow fuckin' annoyin'…"

I snarled quietly to myself as I peeked at the door, the Berry looked as if he was scolding his father and the old man was looking down all red and stuff, like had just gotten caught sticking his hand into the cookie jar. Ichi was probably telling his old man off for cornering me like that.

'Honestly, this kid thinks too much o' me, 'M justa fuckin' demon, nothin' great 'bout bein' one, an' this kid's all in love with me or some shit like tha'. Don't he know tha' a demon can't "love" an' that we use people for our own uses?'

I cackled to myself quietly, it was too easy.

'I don't wanna stop existing, so I migh' as well make ma creator happy. I need 'im, but there's a difference 'tween love, an' need. An' bein' me, Shriosaki fucking Ogichi, I know I don't need tha' stupid thing called 'love' if it really does exsist.'

I smirked to myself and stood up then went up the dark oak wood stairs then went into my aibou's room and lay on his queen sized bed, just taking in what this new life was going to be like. Maybe I can stay like this forever, maybe I can eventually exist all on my own. Finally, I've become whole, before it was just rage and feelings of loneliness, that's what I was made out of. I closed my eyes and waited for Ichi to come back, but soon sleep overtook me, and hard, the bitch didn't hold back when it sucker punched me in the face.

_Normal POV_

A vibrant orange peeked through the side of his bedroom door in search of his pale counterpart. He smiled slightly as he noticed that the albino was passed out on his bed already. Walking over to wear he lay, Ichigo nudged the body slightly, hoping not to irritate him too much.

"Shiro…. Shiro.!"

Lazy golden orbs peeked out from half lidded eyes, and looked at the teen. A half grin worked its way onto the albino's lips as he sat up a little.

"Ne, sorry bou' that aibou, didja need somthin'?"

"Err.. No," Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he looked anywhere but the drowsy albino. "I just wanted to say that.. I told my dad that your parents were dead, and that you needed somewhere to crash, so he told me that you can stay here with us."

Shrio's eyes widened comically as he stared at the oranget who decided to take a seat at the edge of the bed. He scratched his chin and raised a silvery eyebrow questioningly at the teen.

"So yer sure he's totally ok with me stayin' 'ere with ya?"

The Berry nodded which caused the demon to smirk and wrap his arms around said teen's waist and pull him closer. He leaned in closely then whispered seductively into Ichigo's ear, making him blush hotly.

"Thank ya very much, King. Now, tell me, 'ow sound resistant are yer walls an' door?"

Shrio chuckled low in his throat as his cold lips trailed over the hot skin of Ichigo's neck. The oranget could only sputter and squirm in the albino's grasp, standing up so quickly it almost gave Shiro whiplash trying to follow him.

"I-I'll make your bed and you can sleep there, do you don't have to sleep on my bed." He grumbled with cheeks aflame.

Shiro only cackled manically as he fell onto his bed, tears welling up at the corner of his eyes. Truly, this Berry is way too much fucking fun to screw around with.

"Alrigh', Ichi. That's ok if ya are embarrassed." He snickered when the Berry's ears began turning red as well as he threw an extra pair of sleeping pants at his face.

"Those should fit you, now go to bed, ya bastard."

Shrio smirked as he stood in front of the other bed where Ichigo was currently lying, and began to strip in the most obscene fashion; bending and arching the most when he was only in his silk boxers, practically moaning his thanks.

"Ne, thank ya very much aibou, I REALLY appreciate this…"

"Shrio! Go to bed!"

With one last snort and smirk, Shrio slipped on the night pants quickly and jumped onto his own bed, satisfied with how much he had teased the Berry. Covering his body with the comforter and extra blanket, the demon turned to face away from Ichigo's direction and closed his eyes. It was quite a while before a soft sound reverberated in his ears; he noted it quickly as Ichigo's voice and opened his eyes slightly.

"S-shiro….? Shiro…?"

The albino stayed quiet as he was honestly extremely fatigued, getting from the recesses of Ichigo's mind to the real world with the Berry was hard work. Besides, he wanted to hear what his King was thinking next.

"Oh…. Guess you're asleep... I just wanted to say that… That I'm so glad you're here with me now… it makes me feel safe, and… and… complete… goodnight…"

The confession was no louder than a faint whisper, but the sincerity never lacked. The white demon only scoffed mentally as he frowned, he closed his eyes once more and thought to himself.

'Yea, this is ganna be way, too easy."

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><p>Oh my, oh my, Shiro isn't what yall thought he would be, eh? Don't worry. I love him too, and no need to hate on him, just keep reading and you'll see what I have planned. ^^ Ichigo won't be just a tool forever. Trust me.<p>

Well I guess I also have some explaining to do, yes, I know. I've been out for a while and I'm sorry, all my work on a few requests was done on my family's (technically my parent's PC) was lost in a huge crash, and I had no back up no rough drafts no NOTHING. So I got really depressed and realized that I can't be doing any more new requests cuz then I get even more blocked up. Then I visited New York City for the very first time ^^ (it was with my choir, it was fantastic) for a weekend and some, then I barely got Microsoft Work on my laptop for full, then I helped my friend and his mom move into their new apartment, and helped fix up my old place, then appointments, appointments, and MORE appointments =_=" and now I finally got my shit cleared up for Spring Break, so I'm happy again~. Another note, I don't think I'll be doing that idea for America and Britain (Hetalia) my ex and I were USxUK then I got played /: so that's a no go (Yea yea, I know at this point you're probably like 'grr shut up Dani!' so I apologize T_T). Good news is though that I've got GREAT ideas boiling in my head for this story, so till then, review, PM me, ask questions and stay tuned!

(I applaud you if you read all of that.)

-Your humble servant,

Dani.


	2. Good mornin', Ichi

**A/N;** Helloooo everyone~ I am back with another update for this story, and to tell you the truth, I honestly cannot WAIT to keep going. I've got so many ideas just ready to be typed, and the fact that I'm really just enjoying typing these up (it relieves my stress) helps with the updates, so yay win for everyone! Enjoy~ (I'm in a good mood today :3)

**Warning;** Some course language (Shirosaki), and yaoi ahead (Ichigo and Shiro doing some naughty naughty things ahead x3) so if you don't like either of those things then I suggest you go find something else to read, thanks ^^.

**Disclaimer;**I don't own Bleach, the characters and plot belong to Tite Kubo. I just like having the characters do some things that are more… Fun ;D

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><p><em><span>Ichigo's POV<span>_

I knew I was sleeping, my body was floating in black nothingness and it felt fantastic. For the longest time I've been able to control my dreams, and the fine line between unconsciousness and consciousness. Having Shiro running through my mind wildly like a kid in a playground, I had to be able to wake up at command or at least not go into a random bout of dreams that had no relativity. The darkness felt somewhat cool, and it wasn't exactly slick, but it was more like having a light breeze just skim over your body. No matter where I looked, there was nothing else but me and the black abyss, but I didn't mind since I was consciously aware of how tired I was, I supposed my mind was too. I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the feeling of the coolness for the remainder of my dream, while I let my mind wander.

I thought about how life was going to be like for me now that Shiro was here with me, everything was more than likely (hopefully) going to revert back to normal. My father couldn't deny me now that he was introduced to what my 'hallucinations' were made out of, there was just no ignoring the fact that Shrio was what I kept seeing and experiencing when I closed my eyes. I smiled a little knowing that everything was going to turn out for the better; I could live life like a normal teenager instead of some lunatic under his daddy's care. Just the thought had me salivating, the freedom, the trust that would be restored, and being rid of loneliness.

What seemed like hours passed and I opened my eyes only to greet the black again and the feeling of weightlessness. Nothing had changed except the temperature, the coolness became somewhat warm and even in the barrier that was my dream it was able to stir me. I wouldn't have questioned it had it not been exceptional warmth in a certain area in my southern region.

'What the fuck? Is this a wet dream? But I don't see anything even remotely arousing, and I haven't had one of those fuckers in a long time…'

I blushed uncomfortably as the essence of warmth traveled slightly higher into my lower abdomen, something was going on and I wasn't exactly sure if I disliked it, it was somewhat concerning but not exactly a bad feeling either, yet it also doubled as a feeling of suspicion…

_Shirosaki's POV_

"Ohhh, Shiro…"

I smirked as I looked up to see my blushing Berry moaning from the depths of his dream, and took an extra sensual suck to draw out the cute little noise out just a little longer.

I had stayed up most of the night, being a demon; I didn't have to sleep and rest as long as humans. I spent countless nights and mornings in Ichigo's head just listening to his thoughts and inner conflicts, and sometimes even replying to them (which hysterically, freaked Ichi out beyond belief). And this morning, I just had to take advantage of his insanely loose sleeping pants, and decided to give him a wake-up call he'll never forget.

I smirked wildly to myself when I saw the pink on Ichi's cheeks travel to his ears.

'Oh silly boy, I knew tha' 's the way ya like it.'

I snickered quietly before I deep throated my Berry's semi-stiff member without my hesitation or trouble, and no longer had I done that had said oranget's back arched just beautifully. I swirled my tongue around the weeping head and scraped my bottom teeth along the underside like a pro, doing the things I knew that drove Ichigo absolutely insane (being in a hormonal boy's mind has it's advantages ya know). I was highly enjoying myself and only got even more excited when I noticed a pair of melted caramel orbs open up in surprise and in a slight daze, travel down to look down at me.

_Ichigo's POV_

The warmth soon had heated up to full on hot; not burn your hand on a stove hot but more like a shower turned up to the highest setting hot. My whole body was pulsing with warmth all but my penis and the area around it; it was straight up burning up with liquid heat. I panted slightly and a few beads of sweat rolled down my forehead before I had finally decided to wake myself up despite my current lack of concentration; I closed my eyes and just repeated in my head, 'wake up Ichigo, wake up!' then opened up my eyes to find myself in my room, finally.

The breath in my throat hitched slightly when I felt the warmth pulsing in my dick again and I looked down to find the culprit; a slivery mass of hair was bobbing up and down on my erection with even sucks and licks, sending volts of electricity racing though my body. Golden eyes looked up at my own as an especially hard suck took place, making me lose the concentration I was able to muster, and moan softly into the air. An impish look crept itself onto Shrio's face slowly as he picked up the speed and intensity of his sucking, my dick being tormented by the warmth of his mouth. He ran his oddly colored tongue up the underside of my cock torturously, making me see a small pulse of white behind my eyelids. My body began losing its control as I bit my bottom lip hard and my back arched, the muscles in my stomach quivered slightly as I struggled to keep my voice down low.

"S-shrio," I whispered. "P-please no more I-I can't hold it much l-longer..!"

Shiro quickly and suddenly deep throated me, causing a noise between a moan and a whimper to escape my throat accidentally as I released into his warmth, his eyes widening a little in slight surprise. I blushed lightly as I sat up on my bed as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Ah, I'm sorry Shiro I-I didn't mean to… Well you know, in your mouth…"

The albino only smirked sadistically as he leaned into me whispering. "Ah, s'alrigh' Ichi, besides I can get ya back anyways." He then proceeded to grab the back of my head and push his lips against my own abused ones roughly. I was beginning to close my eyes from the intensity of it all, until I began to taste something bitter and somewhat salty; I was tasting myself.

"Gahh! What the fuck Shiro?" I forcefully pushed myself away from the now cackling wildly albino and scooted to the far side of my bed, desperately wiping my mouth and spitting into the close-by trash can. I glared at Shrio who was practically falling off my bed, laughing with his distorted voice so hard I thought he might turn a pale shade of blue then pass out. I coldly glared daggers at him until he stopped laughing, his shit-eating grin plastered on his face like a fucking poster.

"Aww, it's a joke, not a dick, don' take it so hard aibou!"

"GAH!"

I could feel the heat creep onto my cheeks as I finally shoved Shiro off my bed roughly, but he didn't seem to notice as he was cackling loud enough to wake the whole neighborhood, holding onto his stomach.

"Bastard! That'll teach you!"

The albino in front of me currently gasping for breath looked up while wiping unshed tears from the corner of his eyes, chest heaving and cheeks flushed. He grinned as he chuckled a few more times. "'M sorry Ichi, yer just so much fun ta mess with, an' easy too!"

I rolled my eyes as I searched for some jeans and a sweatshirt to wear for the day. Once I found the things I needed I headed for the bathroom but stopped before I turned the door knob and looked at my boyfriend.

"C'mon, start getting ready. I need to take you shopping for clothes and then we'll be off to meet some people."

The pale man stood and looked at me curiously as he folded his arms over his chest as he responded. "People? Wha' kinda people?"

_Shirosaki's POV_

"C'mon, start getting ready. I need to take you shopping for clothes and then we'll be off to meet some people."

I stared at the orange head curiously. When he said people I wasn't exactly sure what to think, his face and composure seemed normal so I didn't know if meeting these "people" was going to be a benefit to me, or if it was going to fuck my newly found life over.

'Who tha' fuck is Ichi plannin' on me ta meet? And why do I gotta meet these people anyways? I guess if I want ta know and the only way ta find ow' was ta ask.'

"People? Wha' kinda people?"

My Berry only shrugged his shoulders as a hint of a smile tugged on the corner of his lips slightly. "I don't know, you'll just have to find out." And with that he turned and closed the door behind him. The momentary look on his face made something in my chest pang slightly, I chose to ignore it for now.

I waited until I heard the sound of water running through pipes and then the sharp _pitter-patter_ of the showerhead releasing water and hitting the bottom of the porcelain ground to sit on Ichi's bed and scowl.

'Damnit, I don' like bein' kept impatient with secrets and shit, who the fuck does he wanna show me off to? I met his dad already, an' his mom is dead so tha' can't be it'

I frowned a little at the last part. Being kept in the dark was something I guess I should've been used to, but I never grew accustomed to it. Being outside of Ichi's head only had one single disadvantage to it; not being able to hear his thoughts, so I had to WAIT and actually meet these people instead of having the pleasure of going through his mind like a fucking file cabinet so I knew what was in store for me prematurely.

'Fuck…When I was still only a figment developin' in Ichi's head, his thoughts always came floodin' in like some megaphone inside of a buildin' used ta get people's attention and shit, or like an intercom. But now I can't jus' do tha', this kinda fuckin' sucks…'

I growled in annoyance as a flopped backwards onto the now cold sheets sighing. What probably irritated me the most was probably the fact that I was irritated about something so small, or maybe it was the fact I was irritated about something that I couldn't exactly put my fucking finger on, yea, that's probably it.

I guess all I could do for now was wait until the water in the bathroom shut off so I could go and prepare myself for these people who I had no real interest in knowing.

I laughed to myself softly. "Heh, oh yea, that's righ', I have no real interest 'n knowin' Ichi's friends or whoever they are anyway. Why should I?"

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><p>Oh hurrah done with chapter numero dos! I hope you guys are enjoying it, sorry if this chappy was a bit slow, I really wanted to highlight and clarify both sides of the story's main character's mindsets just a bit more, but don't worry, it's gonna pick up speed in the next few chapters (seeing as I'm already planning ahead just beautifully~). BTW the little dream part I did was based on another fanfic I had read, so not my complete original idea ^^. So yea, pretty happy with my current projects lately and there's gonna be a little surprise that I'll be working on real soon, only hint is that it's a oneshot that most people were expecting. And maybe even another, I dunno. So until then, ask me questions, PM me, review (because I will fucking love you forever cuz it makes my life complete T_T), and stay tuned for the next chapter. Ja naa~<p>

-Your humble Servant,

Dani.


	3. Who the fuck are you?

**A/N;** Hello everyone~ Tis I! Dani (or Zaku, I've been given a new nickname ^^) and I just want to say, I've been in a great fucking mood lately. And you know what that means? _Ticktapticktaptack_ that's right! I'm in my room typing up smutty chapters for y'all~ A special shout out to 'TinkanaiT32' for some awesome reviews, it made me all tingly on the inside, it makes me wanna make sweet, sweet love to you, readers (you just got turned off, didn't you? Don't lie). Haha but seriously, sometimes I sit here and think, 'you know… My fics suck, maybe I should just stop them before I embarrass myself even more /:' (yea, emo kid right? That's how I get when I'm single) but then when I see your guy's reviews… Well it inspires me, and I can't help but read them over and over while I type! So thank you guys, and now I shall shut the fuck up and let you read like you originally came here for!

**Disclaimer;** I am not getting paid to write these fics, in fact, I don't own any part of Bleach, all of it belongs to Tite Kubo.

**Warning;** Rough smexing with Ichi and Shiro, mature content, jealous Shiro which will result in foul language (wanna bet who the language is directed to right now? –cackles*)

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><p><em><span>Shirosaki's POV<span>_

I lifted my body off my berry's downy unmade bed and smirked to myself once I heard the rumbling in the water pipes stop. Standing up slowly, I crept over to the bathroom's doorway with minimal sound, then leaned against the doorway; just waiting for the perfect opportunity to jump that fucking sexy tight (and now wet) ass of my Berry's.

'C'mon Ichi, just open tha' door for ol' Shiro now.'

I had to bite my tongue sharply in order not to laugh and give away the surprise, and when I say surprise I do mean surprise.

'Sure, my 'lil Ichi migh' be a little bit mad at first but fuck, he'll get over it once I'm bendin' him over the tub an' he's screaming my name like the little bitch he is~'

I felt my cock growing hard under the navy sleeping pants that Ichi had let me borrow, pitching an enormous tent, at the thought; his body was just too fucking tempting, and it's all mine. The tight muscle, the swimmer-type body, his innocent chocolate brown eyes, the fiery attitude, and of course his fucking orange beacon hair…

"Nghhh… Fuck Ichi hurry up…"

I couldn't help but groan under my breath as I felt my arousal pulsing almost painfully from the sudden blood rush to my groin. And as if he had heard me, the door had suddenly opened to reveal very confused and socked caramel orbs. I smirked as I shoved Ichi down onto the hard floor before he had any time to ask what the fucks going on, the latter landing on the hardwood with a _thunk._

"H-hey Shiro! What are you— mmphf!"

I couldn't take any more of this fucking child's play; I smashed my cold lips with bruising force onto my boyfriend's own warm ones, strictly using teeth and tongue. As I had predicted, Ichigo kissed back with great ferocity at first, but eventually I felt his body beginning to tremble beneath my touch. I grinned wide in order to flash my sharp canines while I quickly removed my pj pants and boxers to kick them aside, leaving a slight shiver to trickle down my spine from the sudden temperature change. Ichi became more desperate in the rough kiss as I removed the only article of clothing on his body; the towel around his waist.

"Nnn, d-don't Shiro—"

I chuckled softly as I disregarded my sweet berry's demand and took his semi-erect member in my hand and began palming the bulbous tip torturously.

"Mm!"

With a flick of my wrist I had the oranget bucking his hips up against me in a desperate fashion, I had to clench my jaw in order to keep myself from drooling at the sight; I had barely begun touching my lover's manhood and yet he was already practically moaning and melting at my feet.

'Wha' a libido lightweight!'

I sniggered slightly as I suddenly grabbed the oranget's hips and flipped him over roughly so he was on his knees with his hands gripping onto the bathtub's edge, earning me a surprised yelp from the Berry. I positioned myself so I was kneeling right behind that perfect, peach hued ass as I leaned down to drag my tongue along his shoulder blade; causing him to emit a low mewl. I spat on my hand then began stroking my rock hard cock using the makeshift lube. My eyes fluttered closed with the intense pleasure as I sheathed myself completely inside of Ichi's ass while he gave a choked moan/gasp, the feeling of the velvet like heat around my cock almost had my spilling my load into the oranget prematurely.

"Ohhh fuck, Ichi yer so tigh' it feels wonderful…"

My body gave one last jerk of pleasure before I started snapping my hips back and forth viciously, giving Ichigo absolutely no time to adjust. Although the attack was sudden, the oranget couldn't stop the onslaught of moans and whimpers, I smirked knowingly; I must've found his sweet spot without any trouble. I bit my bottom lip hard enough to have little droplets of blood begin to surface on my snowy lip as I pounded harder into the melting heat, I hadn't planned to be so rough but the feeling was too intoxicating, too addictive.

"Shiro i-I'm going to cum! O-oh fuck!"

I snarled carnally as I quickened my pace and the ferocity of my thrusts, but I found no avail as I began to lose my rhythm; was getting close to blowing my load into my precious Ichi.

"SHIRO!"

My body jerked forward hard in one body-bruising thrust as I spilt my seed into Ichi's tight cavern with a growl that erupted from the depths of my chest. I felt the melting cavern I was buried balls-deep in begin to twitch and spasm, which meant that my delectable Berry had reached the peak of his ecstasy as well. I gave few lazy, shallow thrusts to ride out the rest of my orgasm, while the oranget panted for breath. With shaky fingers, I pulled myself out of the hard body and grinned wildly. Ichigo turned his tired caramel eyes to me, as he spoke with his lack of breath.

"You bastard, now I gotta get clean again!"

_Normal POV_

After much trouble of keeping the albino's hands and other appendages away from Ichigo, the two had finally managed to get their bodies washed down, dried and clothed. Ichigo wore a simple t-shirt with one of his favorite bands on it, washed up denim jeans and vans. While Shiro found a skin tight black tee with the number '69' on it in bold white (the albino had found this hilarious, and giggled the whole time while putting it on) with violet skinny jeans and ripped cons.

"Shiro, do you have to be so damn immature? It's just a t-shirt, and furthermore, a t-shirt that I didn't even realize I had." Ichigo sighed.

The marble skin man only grinned as his eyes glinted impishly, like a mischievous child, as he swung his hips around provocatively, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I dunno whatcha talkin' bout, aibou."

"Yes, you do. Now knock it off."

"Ne, what if I jus' _really_ like the number 69? Hmmm?"

The oranget blushed crimson as his counterpart emphasized the sexual reference in his sentence before turning around to pick his keys off of his computer desk.

"Shaddup. Now let's get going, you've wasted so much time now."

The other sighed dramatically as he flung himself onto the clean bed and covered his head over with a pillow. "Why can't we jus' stay 'ere an' mess around in bed all day?" he whined.

"Shirosaki! We are going now!"

The albino threw off the pillow as molten gold orbs widened in shock from the other have raised his tone. The oranget quickly sensed the other's discomfort and softened his eyes.

"C'mon, we don't wanna let the day go to waste. The sooner we get done the faster we can get back home."

'Whatever' thought Shriosaki.

The albino smirked as he lifted himself up and snaked his arms around the other's tan hips, whispering against his neck soft enough to make it tickle. "No, keep goin', yer sexy when ya act like tha' top bitch".

Ichigo sighed as he dragged the cackling albino with him outside before locking the door behind them; the rest of his family had things to do early on that day so thankfully he didn't have any explaining to do for the loud "noises" and crashing going on upstairs. The two set off, walking aimlessly through the neighborhoods of Karakura.

Shiro looked around as he commented and asked questions about the real world as a child would when visiting a new home or shopping area. Why's the sky blue? Why are people such idiots? Why are there roads? Are people really so lazy that they absolutely NEED cars? Although the questions were random and came out faster than he could think, he chuckled as he tried to answer them to the best he could. After a while, the oranget noticed they had turned into a new street, and that they were near one of the homes of his friends, and began quickening his pace towards the quaint apartments.

'I wonder if he's home today.'

Shiro noticed the slight change in his King's demeanor and frowned slightly, putting the rest of his questions on hold.

'Tha' fuck is he gettin' all excited abou'?'

"Shiro stay right here,"

The albino watched in slight caution as the oranget jogged up to the door that read '609' next to it and rang the doorbell quickly, then took a few steps back. After a few moments no one answered, the albino grasped the arm of his King desperately as he quickly mumbled.

"Welp, no one's home better get home an—"

"No, wait!"

Shriosaki growled softly under his breath when he heard a door click open and turned around to have his voice leave him; the man who opened the door was taller than 6 feet and was broad shouldered; he was extremely bulky. He was well corded with muscle and although he was wearing a loose thermal long-sleeved tee, Shrio could tell his chest was thick with hard muscle as well. He had a chiseled, handsome face with light stubble on his chin from a day's lack of shaving. But the most visually attractive thing about the man was his eyes, and hair. The color could only be described as electric teal, and his eyes were a few shades darker; cerulean with a whole slew of other blues behind them. The albino wasn't overly impressed, and only scoffed under his breath.

'Blue hair? What's this guy, a fuckin' fairy?'

"Shrio, I want you to meet Grimmjow. He is my best friend, in fact, I practically consider him my brother. And Grimm, I want you to meet Shrio, my boyfriend."

The large man gave the albino a knowing look which Shrio quickly dismissed, before he laughed good-naturedly and clapped the vibrant haired teen on the back, causing him to choke out momentarily.

"Ichi, I never expected ya ta be sucha fruit when it comes to me! But yea, it's nice ta meet ya, Shrio, was it?" chuckled Grimmjow as he held out a large, tawny hand.

"Yea, ya too." Mumbled Shiro as he took the hand and gave it a quick shake before pulling his hand away completely.

"So, whatcha doin' here Ichi? Missed me so much ya couldn't stand it?"

Ichigo laughed as he pushed the larger man playfully and gave a mock scowl, crossing his arms. "Nah, I actually hate you, ya goddamn fag. I came here with my boyfriend to kick your ass."

The teal haired man broke out in laughter as he wiped the corner of his eye. "Oh is tha' so? I'd lay you out so hard that your dad would feel it, and 'sides, I don't remember that when ya were crying my name out in the middle of the night."

Caramel eyes quickly shot over to catch the mortified expression and stance his boyfriend was currently attempting to hide, before becoming nervous as his topaz eyes narrowed expectantly, Shriosaki practically spat out.

"Oh? How close did ya both used ta be?"

The oranget cleared his throat before he squeaked out softly. "We used to be in a relationship, for about 2 years…"

Gold on onyx eyes turned slowly to the teal haired man who currently had his arms crossed over his bulky chest and a frown plastered on his lips; Grimmjow was looking right back at Shriosaki with daggers pointed, and ready to kill.

'What, tha' fuck, is goin' on 'ere…'

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><p>Ohhh yay what's gonna happen next? (why the hell am I asking you guys that?) did you guys like it? I sincerely apologize for the massive weep-a-thon I had before the beginning of this chapter. I love you guys. Marry me. (sorry, loopy, happy sleep-deprived me is creepy..). So review the hell out me (it makes the chapters come out better, and faster), talk to me, ask me questions, check out my other stuff and stay tuned 'till the next update, ja na~<p>

-Your humble Servant,

Dani.


	4. A new mindset

**A/N;** Ohhh, my, it's been awhile, hasn't it guys e_e;;? Please don't kill me, I'm sorry it's been so long, I lost concentration on my fics and just went nuts on reading from other pages (and attempting to draw ideas…! Even though I suck at drawing –tear* I realize that now, hah~) I'll explain at the bottom, but anyways, here we go, let's get started, yeah?~

**Warning;** This is a BOY X BOY fic! And furthermore, it's rated MA. Wanna know why? Cuz there's bound to be smexing, language, some blood and disturbing themes (if it's me you're talking about)! So if you don't like that then P-L-E-A-S-E click that little back arrow button at the top left of your screen, and move onto something more to your taste! OOC and AU. Oh and, if ya haven't noticed, I switch perspectives a lot, so yeah~

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Bleach; not the characters, names, NADA. That all goes to Tite Kubo sama.

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><p><em><span>Shirosaki's POV<span>_

I felt myself bristling at the sight of the blue-haired man, only a few minutes ago the fucker was all smiles and jokes, and now I couldn't shake the icy glare for the life of me. I felt my lips curl into a small snarl as my Berry turned from side to side, looking at us both with his eyes spilling over with anxiety.

"Ne, Ichi, can ya go get a couple of beers for us in the garage? The key are on th' counter."

I mentally flinched as the blue haired man's voice was low but gravely nonetheless, my eyes flickered as Ichi blinked in confusion before tentatively taking a step away from the suffocating aura emitting from me and the taller man. Two finely trimmed eyebrows scrunched in worry as cocoa eyes scanned over Grimm and I, Ichi spoke before picking up the key ring and heading to the door.

"O-oh, ok I'll be right back, guys."

And with that the Berry stepped out, closing the door carefully behind him. Grimm waited until he can no longer hear the retreating footsteps before turning to be again. His muscles tensed for a moment as his eyes narrowed, he pulled a packet of cigarettes out from his worn out jeans before he lit the cancer stick, and clenched it between his teeth. I shifted my weight onto my left leg as my own body tensed slightly. Cyan eyes regarded me carefully, like a goddamn jungle cat or somethin' before Grimmjow blew a puff of the fowl smelling smoke into the air, in my direction like some cocky son of a bitch.

"If ya don' care about him tha' much, then why the fuck are ya with him, whitey?" growled the man. It wasn't a question; he spoke as if he were talking about the fucking weather, or about the coffee machine down the hall in an office space.

I didn't even think before I grabbed the fucker by the front of his thermal and pulled him close to have our bodies flush against each other. The fucker had me by a few inches in height, and maybe 20-30 pounds in weight, but that didn't mean I wasn't strong. I knew for a fact that I could knock this asshole out if I tried hard enough. Despite the fact that my actions had been random and quick, and not exactly gentle either, the bastard only gave the cigarette another drag, his eyes never wavering, and if to be more specific; looked bored.

'FUCKIN' ASSHOLE.'

I felt a snarl bubbling in the back of my throat as I slammed Grimmjow against the front door hard enough to have a nearby picture frame that was hanging on the wall fall and smash against the tile floor with a resounding _crack._ This seemed to momentarily snap him out of his calm fuckin' demeanor and into a surprise state, until his face twisted with suppressed anger. I could feel my forearms twitch and tremble under the stress of gripping onto the flimsy material, my breaths came out ragged as my topaz eyes narrowed dangerously when they met freezing cerulean.

"Wha' the fuck do ya think yer implying, kitty?"

The blue haired man only let out a bark of laughter before he straightened up to his full height, a scowl masking his features once more. My body shuddered involuntarily as his voice whispered something of malice, and venom. Those sly eyes never left mine as he muttered lowly, the words spat out like a poison, they made my whole body rack with shivers.

"I know that ya ain't genuine. And if I were you, I'd get tha fuck away from Ichigo before I beat the living hell outta ya, I don't wanna see yer face again, specially not near Ichigo."

_Normal POV_

"I know that ya ain't genuine. And if I were you, I'd get tha fuck away from Ichigo before I beat the living hell outta ya, I don't wanna see yer face again, specially not near Ichigo."

Shirosaki's whole body stiffened and opened his mouth in order to retort but the only thing that came out was a howl of pain. Marble hands quickly released the pale grey thermal of Grimmjow's as one reached over to clench his left forearm in searing pain, Grimmjow had intentionally put his amber glowing cigarette out on Shirosaki's arm. The pale demon's head whipped up to see Grimmjow flick the finished cigarette butt out into a trashcan, before snarling like an angry animal and landing a fist onto the perfect face of the blue haired man.

Grimmjow was taken aback at how hard the albino punched when he felt his head being forcefully whipped to the side, his cheek was already beginning to smart. His vision was clouded with anger as he snarled wide enough to bear his overly sharp canines. The albino seemed to beam at the look, his eyes glinting sadistically as he spoke in a mocking tone.

"Awww, s'the matter kitty kitty? Don'cha have anything but yer little claws ta protect yerself?" he cooed.

Grimmjow felt his fury spike up exponentially as he used the door as his source of momentum, launching himself and his fist to the cackling albino, narrowly missing when Shirosaki sidestepped nimbly. Shrio only sneered and chuckled at the failed assault, cocking his hip to the side as he regarded Grimm at the same level of road kill.

"Guess I was right, ne?"

The blue haired man used this opportunity to use his own weight this time to bring his fist in a round-about fashion, undoubtedly able to land a hit on the infuriating albino this time.

He felt his heart freeze in his chest and ice seep into his veins when he realized he couldn't stop his fist in time though.

_Shirosaki's POV_

I felt pulse stop when I realized Grimm-fucking-jow was about to smash my pretty face in with an attack that I knew I wouldn't be able to dodge, I closed my eyes and steeled myself to the impending hit. I felt my breath hitch when I heard the sickening sound of bone and skin meeting flesh, followed by the metallic sound of aluminum hitting the tile below, but felt no pain at all. I cracked an eye open an nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw the brilliant flash of orange in front of me, with another flash that could only be the crimson color of blood. I took a step back and held my arms away from my body defenselessly as my eyes traveled upward to see Grimmjow looking nothing short of mortified, his face probably matched my own. I looked down to see Ichigo, who was standing a moment ago, who was now kneeling on the floor with one fist clenched and on the floor next to the forgotten cans of cheap beer.

No one spoke, breathed, or moved as agonizing seconds went by. I felt an odd cocktail of emotions brewing within myself; it was making me upset, angry, remorseful, vengeful and a whole slew of other things all at the same time in those seconds. I let out the breath I had been holding when I saw Ichigo slowly stand up with his head bowed down, wiping his nose with the back of his hand quickly. I only gaped when his hand fell back to his side, only this time stained with blood. Grimmjow looked like he wanted to say something, presumably apologize, but only opened and closed his mouth multiple times like a fish out of water.

'That… That stupid fucker!... W-why did he..'

To say I was shocked in the least was an understatement when Ichigo raised his hand and slapped the ever loving shit out of Grimmjow, and it wasn't one of those pussy-fuckin'-around-girly slaps, it was a full on smack to his pretty boy face, and undoubtedly his pride. Azure eyes widened so much I thought they'd fall right out of their sockets as Grimmjow stumbled backwards, cradling his newly abused face.

"…. We're leaving, Shirosaki. Grimmjow, I don't want you to talk to me… I don't want to be associated with you anymore…'

Ichi lifted his face to show a huge red mark swelling on his face where Grimmjow's fist landed, while his nose still spilled a light river of blood down his mouth and chin. Although the most disturbing part had to be his eyes; the normally determined yet soft cocoa eyes were filled with malice and disgust as they fixed themselves on the baffled man leaning against the door. I couldn't help but feel somewhat guilty, even though there was really no reason to.

_Normal POV_

"Ichi, wait you don't understand!" Grimmjow stepped away from the door as he reached towards the oranget almost desperately.

"Fuckin' forget it, I want you to stay the hell away from me, Grimmjow, and don't ever call me that again." Ichigo's voice couldn't have been louder than a whisper, but his tone made the blue haired man cringe and grind his teeth.

"Ichi, I'm sorry I didn't—"

"What, did I say already? Don't, call me _that_" Ichigo spat out as if the words left a sour taste in his mouth that he just wanted to get rid of.

Taking Shirosaki by the arm, Ichigo pushed his way past the shocked on looking man and stormed his way out of the apartment building. The albino practically had to jog to keep up with the Berry, whom had a death lock on his wrist. Shrio made a pained face as he tried to take his arm back but the oranget didn't seem to notice as he continued marching to his house a few blocks away.

As soon as the two males made it back to the house, Ichigo locked the door behind them and yelled out into the silent house.

"DAD! KARIN, YUZU! ARE YOU GUYS HOME?"

The two waited for a response for several minutes before deeming that the house was empty. Shirosaki almost fell onto his ass when he felt the oranget pin him onto a wall and kiss him hard enough to bruise his lips. The latter's inverted eyes rolled into the back of his head when he felt one of Ichigo's hands cup his flaccid member inside of his tight jeans, the other pressing against the hard muscle of his pale chest.

"I-ichi what're ya doin'…?" muttered Shrio roughly when he was finally able to rip his lips away from Ichigo's for a breath.

He could practically feel Ichigo's body rack with a carnal growl as he latched onto a plump, snowy bottom lip and tugged harshly, making Shirosaki's mind fog up and a pleased hum reverberate inside of his throat.

"Shut up and fuck me.."

Shirosaki's dick twitched in excitement as the authoritative tone in the oranget's voice as he growled lowly in his throat. Ichigo maneuvered in order to have Shiro fall back onto the nearby couch before he straddled his hips before gyrating them slowly in a lude fashion. The albino wasted no time on practically ripping off the shirt that Ichigo was wearing and latching onto a dusky nipple with his wicked mouth. Ichigo gasped and bit his lip as that hot mouth rolled the now hard nub and lily digits rolled the other one in between a thumb and index finger. The Berry bit his lip as her rolled his hips once more, rubbing their obvious mutual excitements together, causing Shrio to growl out and nip at Ichigo's nipple.

"Ichi, fuck, if ya don' suck me off righ' now I just migh' have ta fuck ya dry and rough right through this goddamn couch" cooed the white demon as he kneaded the flesh of Ichigo's ass roughly.

The latter only mewled in excitement as he slid off of the strong hips before kneeling before Shirosaki, who sat up to watch the enticing Berry. Chocolate orbs were lowered half-mast as a concoction of lust, anger, and need swirled behind them. Shriosaki didn't take his eyes off the Berry's heated look as he wiggled out of his jeans and black boxers, releasing his straining erection from its cotton prison. Even though the Berry's nose and surrounding area was bruised purple, Shriosaki groaned preemptively at the beautiful face, Ichigo on the other hand couldn't help but blush as his eyes scanned over the stiff mass of flesh that would be going into his mouth in a moment. The albino trembled in pleasure when he felt a pink tongue swirl around his weeping tip, before delving into the slit.

"Ahh shit, just like tha' Ichi…" murmered Shrio as he fought to keep his eyes from rolling back into his head.

The Berry closed his eyes as he worked his tongue around the heated flesh; running the tip along the vein on the underside, back up, and teasing the bulbous tip. Parting his flushed lips, Ichigo began taking more and more of Shiro's dick, until his nose brushed up against snowy white curls and the large pillar of flesh hit the back of his throat, making the latter emit a choked moan.

"Awh fuck..! y-yeah jus' like tha Ichi..!"

Ichigo used the albino's words of encouragement to begin bobbing his head up and down on the enormous length, the sounds of lude slurping, panting and groans filling the room. Shirosaki's lust hazed mind went against better judgment as he grabbed a handful of soft orange spikes and forced the head to swallow his cock again.

Ichigo's eyes widened in surprise as he felt the tip of Shrio's dick hit the back of his throat again, he groaned in protest but that only caused vibrations to travel up the albino's body, making his whole body tremble in ecstasy. Lidded caramel orbs traveled up a pale sculpted body before fixating themselves on the mesmerizing inverted eyes watching him with primitive lust. Letting a growl drip from his throat, Shrio finally pulled Ichigo off of his knees before yanking down the offending material that clung to Ichigo's hips, the latter stepping out of the cotton and denim that pooled at his feet.

"Fuck, yer so goddamn sexy Ichigo, now I'm gonna give ya watcha want, I'm ganna make ya forget yer own name by makin' ya scream mine till yer voice goes hoarse…" Ichigo's body was sent into a shivering, melting mess when he felt Shriosaki purr into his neck before biting harshly. The albino's body trembled when he smelt the musky, cinnamon smell that could only be Ichigo.

The white demon smirked lecherously as he lifted the lithe body in order to have sun kissed thighs straddling him again, before grabbing ahold of his stiff erection, and having it push its way inside of the tight, melting, velvet like heat. The oranget could only cry out in a strong mix of pain and overwhelming ecstasy when he felt the white demon's cock pulsing inside of him.

"Nghh, o-oh fuck, Shrio d-don't—!"

"Nah ah, I told ya I was gonna, didn't I?"

That was the only warning the albino gave before he began plowing himself into the screaming Berry mercilessly, he relished in the sweet yelps of pain and moans when the tip of his cock scraped against Ichigo's prostate. The latter began to feel the initial sharp pain beginning to dull and being replaced by bursts of pleasure that coursed through his veins. Blunt, black painted nails dug into slim hips to slam Ichigo's sweat glossed, trembling body back down with more intensity, and the latter mewling from the feeling of his backside being impaled.

"S-shiro I'm gonna—nghhhh, oh fuck yes like that..!"

The demon mentally smirked in spite of himself as he bucked his hips in order to strike the oranget's prostate more accurately, causing Ichigo to gasp loudly and a crimson blush to seep from his cheeks to his ears.

'Shit, at this rate, 'm gonna end up cummin' too…'

At this point, Ichigo was practically bouncing on Shirosaki's lap; the sounds of skin slapping skin and Ichigo's moans filled the room. Ichigo knew that he should be ashamed of himself when he was like this; whimpering and mewling like a bitch in heat, and acting so damn seductive, but fuck, he couldn't help it when a sex god like Shirosaki was caught on his radar, cuz after that, all restrictions be dammed.

A tight heat began winding itself inside of the Berry's stomach as his pace became more erratic and quick as his fingers gripped the couch material behind Shrio before leaning forward only slightly.

"AHHH! Y-YES!"

The new position allowed the albino's thick head to brush against the small bundle of nerves each time, the sensation sending both men into overload. The white demon began to groan and pant under his breath as he slammed the body down onto his cock as hard as he possibly could. Gold on obsidian eyes were painted over with lust as he could feel the coil in his abdomen ready to burst, his release so close he could practically taste it.

'Damnit c'mon he's almost there—"

"Oh shit!"

"FUCK!"

Shrio and Ichigo both cried out simultaneously as the first wave of orgasm hit them hard; Ichigo's causing his head to fly back, voice to cry out loud enough to wake the dead and his already tight canal to spasm and twitch around the albino's engorged cock, milking him completely of his seed. Shirosaki bit his bottom lip hard enough to make small beads of blood blossom to the top of his lily skin, the stark contrast making it all the more real.

After gaining their breath back a few minutes later, Ichigo carefully slid his body off of the albino's before curling up to the heaving body silently. The latter furrowing his brows in thought as he noted that the Berry wasn't falling asleep, saying anything cheesy or kissing him all over like he normally would've. Tired gold eyes traveled their way up to Ichigo's face, which was pulled into its infamous scowl, although his eyes had no malice behind them, no, on the contrary, they looked almost… worried.

"Ne, s'the matter aibou? Sex got yer tongue?" teased Shiro.

The oranget heaved sigh before locking amber brown orbs onto molten gold. "Shiro, what happened with you and Grimmjow, earlier?"

_Ichigo's POV_

Shiro's eyes went wide for a moment before they went back to normal, a small glint of anger behind them before doing so. My white counterpart only slouched on the couch before turning his head away indifferently and scoffing quietly under his breath, his nose scrunching in distaste.

"Nothin', jus' didn't like tha bastard, is all."

"Well what'd you guys say to eachother?"

"Told ya, don' worry 'bout it aibou."

"Yeah but Shrio—" I retorted quickly before I was cut off.

Shiro turned abruptly to look at me; his eyes which were tired and lazy a moment ago had been heated to dangerously losing their patience.

"Ichigo, I said don' worry about it" he punctuated slowly, as if talking to a child.

I frowned and sat up to gain more height above him; when animals feel threatened or need to establish their dominance, creating the illusion of being bigger (regardless if they actually are or aren't) normally helps flips the situation. "I'm asking nicely, tell me what you said, Shriosaki!"

I could only yelp in surprise when the man in front of me stood up so suddenly I fell back off of the couch and onto the floor, I quickly scrambled to get up only to be stopped by the searing pain in my backside. I looked up to see Shiro practically fuming, his eyes were narrowed dangerously and his teeth were bared, mocking a threatened animal.

"GODDAMN IT ICHIGO, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!"

_Shirosaki's POV_

I couldn't stop my anger from growing until it burst right through the fuckin' top; I glared down at the Berry in front of me who was staring at me with surprise, his innocent eyes boring holes through my chest, he was patiently waiting to continue on. I clenched my teeth mercilessly, only stopping when my jaw began to creak in protest from the pressure.

It was pissing me the fuck off.

"Don' cha fuckin' get it already, Ichigo? M' sick of your goddamn girly fuckin' ways! Ya act like a goddamn love struck bitch with me, an' I'm startin' ta get irked with it! Shit, I never knew ya would be this goddamn clingy with me, and even worse, ya can't even drop shit like I ask ya too!" I hadn't realized that my voice started to break as I bellowed at the top of my lungs, my fists were clenched so tightly I thought they would pop like balloons at any given second. The next few words tumbled out of my mouth without me even thinking about it.

"This isn't a goddamn fairy tale, or a fuckin' fruity ass love story with a happy endin', so stop treating it like one and gimme some fuckin' space to breathe Ichigo! I'm a fuckin' demon not your pretty prince who's gonna sweet ya off yer feet, so get over it!"

The trembling in my body ceased for a moment as I cautiously looked up at the red head who was staring back at me, his eyes were completely unreadable. I waited. For seconds that seemed to stretch on for hours, days but nothing happened except for the fact that the air seemed to thicken with each passing second, I felt as if it was choking me. My body involuntarily flinched when cocoa orbs blinked once, twice before a flash of pain passed through them, then an undefinable emotion replacing it.

"Oh, alright. I understand then, Shiro."

My body deflated at Ichi's clear, soft voice, I cocked a fine white brow up and looked at him incredulously, but I didn't dare speak, afraid to diffuse the situation.

I watched as my Berry stood up and walked (with a light limp) to the kitchen to wipe the cum off of his stomach and thighs with a napkin then throwing it away before he calmly walked back and slipped his previously discarded clothes back on. I flinched out of reflex when caramel eyes regarded me carefully before a fake smile plastered itself onto sun kissed lips, and a honey coated voice spoke softly.

"I'm gonna go ahead and take a walk, you stay here, alright? Make yourself at home."

It seemed as if I had swallowed my tongue, it was that hard to talk at the moment. I could only watch as Ichigo turned his back from me and walked to the table to retrieve his keys and a sweatshirt with almost no sound, then striding right out the front door. I don't know for how long I stared at the closed door, but I did know how bad my chest and head began hurting, so I decided to slowly drag myself up the stairs and into Ichi's room. I quietly huffed and landed heavily on the bed, the smell of the Berry assaulting my nose. I stared up at the ceiling intently like my king did so many times before when he was lonely. The pain in my chest never wavered as I felt my eyes glossing over slowly, I decided to close them before muttering to no one in particular.

"Fuck, I don' care, an' I never did…"

_Normal POV_

Ichigo paced the streets briskly and did his best to ignore houses that had people he knew personally living inside. He finally stopped when he got to the park where his mother would bring him when she was alive, rolling along Karin and Yuzu in their stroller since they were toddlers. The fight with Shrio snapped him out of his mindset, and he wasn't exactly sure what to do with the new information and the aching in his chest. Cocoa orbs lifted themselves to the angry grey sky when he got to an opening while the oranget stuffed his fists into the pockets of his vibrant blue sweatshirt that he had grabbed before walking out of the house. The male didn't open his mouth as the first resounding sound of thunder rumbled off in the distance like a herd of horses galloping through an empty field. Ichigo was beyond glad that he was able to be left alone with his thoughts.

'…I kind of figured Shrio would be like that; I was the one who created him inside of my mind after all. I feel like a goddamn idiot for not seeing it until now…'

A chocked sob broke from the oranget's throat before he quickly covered it up by clearing his throat.

'But the thing that sucks the most is that I need him…But… It's not like I love him though… Right..?'

A small droplet of water landed on the crest of Ichigo's head, snapping him from his dismal thoughts. The oranget only frowned deeply as he bowed his head and allowed the soft rain to fall on and around him as he muttered quietly to himself.

"Shirosaki always hated the rain, didn't he?..."

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><p>Mah, hey everyone~ Did ya miss me? (course not, I suck v.v) no anyways. Sorry bout that little disappearing act I had from here, I just was in an emotional slump, (being single really sucks when I'm trying to write about love and that kinda junk -_-) so I guess that reflected on this chapter since it was a bit dark, ne? Hehe, it was funny cuz I stayed up till 4 doing this damn chapter, but fell asleep before I could edit it -insert Freddy Mercury 'so close' meme right here- I hopes you guys liked it~ sorry if it was a bit long though ^^" anyhoobles. Send me PMs (i'm a creep who really likes friends to talk to c:), ask me questions, review the heck outta me (ohh I love it~ purr) and stay tunes for the next installment~ JA!<p>

-Your humble Servant,

Dani.


	5. Initiating uneeded tactics

**A/N; **Ohhey everyone~ Guess what? I suck. I lied. I said I'd be updating like a madwoman but all I've done is slack off. –Sigh* and I'm really sorry about that. I always get into these moments when I feel like my writing isn't good at all, and I feel like I should just quit doing my fics, so I just shy away from my writing (and summer has been especially kind to me~). But I figured it wouldn't be fair to those who actually like my crap writing, so here I am. Don't worry, Lavender is also going to be updated, and I also have an extra little surprise coming your guys' way~ (It'll be a GrimmXIchi, if you wanted a hint) so please don't give up on me, lovelies, I promise I love you D:

**Warning;** Some delicious semi-smut between Ichigo and Hichigo/Shirosaki/Ogichi, whatever y'all call him, cursing, sexual themes, Shiro being Shiro, and a bit of depressing stuff (an emotionally frozen berry, coming your way). Oh and I like jumping from perspective to perspective a lot too~

**Disclaimer;** I do not make money off of these fics, nor do I own any part of Bleach (if I did there would be a LOT more screwing between my favorite couples in the show.) it all belongs to Tite Kubo sama.

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><p><em><span>Shirosaki's POV<span>_

After Ichi had gone out, I had started to pace back and forth in his living room at a vigorous fucking pace. I actually kinda felt like one of those overbearing parents at a time like this. I couldn't help but think about how I had exploded in front of the kid, and I was beginning to regret my decision with every fiber of my being. I knew for a fact Ichi was getting in too deep, and it although it didn't necessarily play against me, I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable about how close he was getting to me in such a short amount of time.

It was almost as he really… loved me.

-SLAM*

My eyes shot over to the source of the noise before it met with the dripping wet figure of my King slipping off his shoes and jacket at the doorway. I allowed my gaze to slip along his figure, relishing in the way his wet clothing clung to his lean, muscled body.

'Get yer shit tagether Shirosaki, this is not tha time fer that'

I shook my head to clear my head of all thoughts before I slowly approached Ichigo. His eyes were currently downcast and staring at the floor, and I could feel his presence, in a sense. And normally it was beaming and determined, but now it was so… Depressing.

'Fuck… how tha fuck do I go 'bout this?'

I awkwardly cleared my throat as my fingers raked through my unruly hair, it was still fucked up from our activities earlier. I was able to get Ichigo's attention as I started.

"Ermm, Ichi, about earlier—"

"No."

I couldn't fucking help it. I flinched. I'm not gonna lie. He answered so suddenly and listlessly that well; I guess I wasn't expecting it. I felt cool imaginary fingers trace a line down my back as my eyes locked with warm chocolate ones, which looked strangely happy, yet… not exactly. I could only blink as Ichigo continued.

"It's no big deal. I understand completely. I'll start giving you the space you deserve, Shrio." I felt myself deflate like a godamn tired with a nail through it when Ichigo smiled genuinely. "I'm so sorry for inconveniencing you."

I had no words at all. I stood there gaping at the berry like some stupid fish out of water, flopping around on a lonely dock. I had worked up enough courage to explain for yelling at him like the devil himself for something so fucking stupid, and here he was, apologizing… To me? It just didn't make sense.

"Well, uh, I'm gonna go ahead and go take a shower.. It was raining pretty hard out there, ya know?"

I felt myself nod stupidly as Ichigo strode up the stairs and took a right to get to his room. My arm fell to my side, and I felt a dull throbbing pain radiating from my head. I guess I grabbed harder onto my head than I had thought. Sighing, I took a step backwards in order to sit down on the couch, slouching back comfortably.

None of this made sense, I went off on the poor sap after we fucked on his couch like two bunny rabbits; I degraded him, called him names, brought his manhood into it, and even denied him the slightest bit hope of ever having a future between us that could include that mysterious emotion which can only be described as… Love.

Why was he completely ok with this?

…And why the fuck did it bother me so much?

My head perked up when I heard light footsteps coming from outside, and decided to finally head upstairs before I heavily dragged myself off of the couch. I walked slowly as I thought about those soft yet determined brown eyes that I've always known, ever since I was created, and how this last time they held a charade of happiness, but there was something different behind them this time, something was missing.

It was almost as if someone had come along and extinguished the burning ember that was hiding behind those expressive eyes.

I yelped softly when I felt myself stumble over something before I hissed in pain from stubbing my toe against Ichi's dresser, I looked down to see that it was the berry's wet shirt that I guessed he had discarded onto the floor before jumping into the shower. I noticed that the water was still running, so I figured that I'd kill some time before Ichigo got out. I turned around and grabbed his iPod from the dresser before slipping the buds into my ears and letting the small device in the palm of my hand light up, resuming the last song Ichigo was playing. I strode over to my guest bed before I lay down heavily and let my eyelids snap shut almost immediately. My body began relaxing on its own, as I allowed the music to take its toll and wash away all of the negative thoughts and questions that were tearing away at my mind.

_Ichigo's POV_

After I had gotten home from my long run back home out of the rainstorm, Shiro had tried talking to me. Normally, I would've been ecstatic on the inside even if I wouldn't show it to the fullest on the outside. But this time around, I wasn't sure if I could face him properly without having a full out breakdown.

'God, I'm so pathetic… It makes me sick just how pathetic I can be…'

I heaved a large sigh as I rested my head against the tile wall and let my eyes close shut. The water felt good, it ran down the full length of my body; coming down from the crown of my head and face, to my torso, and legs, only to swirl down the drain in little streams of water. It was cleansing and constant, a nice change for me.

I carefully let my eyes open in order not to get shampoo into them as I stared at nothing in particular, letting my mind wander over to my pale counterpart. The fight we had earlier in the living room couldn't be something we avoided, and I knew for a fact it would eventually turn up in conversation sooner or later. I scoffed and rolled my eyes as I thought about Shiro actually making an effort to make a conversation with me that wasn't completely perverted or lecherous in the least.

'At least I know how he truly feels… More than likely, he won't try to bring it up again after I apologized to him in order to get away from him, so maybe there's nothing to worry about after all.'

A dull pain radiated from my chest as I scowled deeply, I could feel the corners of my eyes warming up, and soon they were quietly welling. Clenching my fist as hard as I could, I fought to keep those thoughts away, but no matter how merciless of a grip I kept, I couldn't help but whimper quietly. Yeah that's right, whimper. Like a little fucking girl. Just like Shiro said. I allowed myself to stay in this position until I finally couldn't ignore the chilling bite that the water had taken. I stepped out carefully and wrapped a towel around my waist before grabbing another to dry my wet hair and torso with. I had decided that from now on, I would have to just deal with Shiro's ways. I couldn't let him slip away from me, I couldn't let him go.

I opened the door from my bathroom to my room and stepped onto the creamy plush carpeting, suppressing a small shiver when the cold air from the room connected with my still slightly damp body. I noted the way Shiro had fallen asleep on his bed, my iPod in hand. I disregarded it as I grabbed a pair of black boxer briefs and slipped them on along with a pair of loose cotton pants and a cotton v-neck tee. After hanging up the towels I had used and discarding the wet clothes on the floor, I walked over to the gorgeous sleeping albino before deducting that he was, in fact, asleep. I carefully took my iPod from his grasp before shutting it off, and quickly taking the earbuds out of his ears as well. I felt the corners of my lips curl upwards as I took in every aspect of this man.

His hair was the purest of white rivaling that of pale moon rays reflecting off of the first year's pure snow, and I noticed just how long his eye lashes were, more so than mine as they rested just above his high, flawless cheekbones. And I'd die before I told him this but, when he slept, his lips pursed together in a semi-pout while his body curled inward, it was cute in a way that I soon found relaxing me as well. I brushed his bangs off of his face carefully, earning me a small groan and pale digits swatting my hand away half-heartedly. I chuckled as I let Shiro lie and went to sit on my own bed.

I stared out the window for quite some time, even ignoring my stomachs protest as the spicy smell off food began wafting its way into my nose. The sun wasn't exactly going to set just yet, but it was clear that it would be setting very soon.

'The end of another day is almost here...'

I sighed as I figured I'd go online and do something at least somewhat productive. I quickly switched on my computer, making sure the volume was down low as to not wake a sleeping Shiro, and began trying to find something to ease my overworked mind before dinner.

_Shirosaki's POV_

I was drifting nicely through my consciousness when I suddenly felt someone shake me gently, it wasn't long before I heard that person also trying to talk to me slowly, although I wasn't exactly sure what they were saying.

"—iro… Up.. –ownstairs"

I groaned softly as I tried my damnest to open my eyes and pry myself out of my early slumber, I was actually surprised that I had ended up falling asleep so quickly just from having Ichigo's music playing combined with the events of the day. I was eventually able to open my eyes half way, looking up at the blinking face of the berry. I smiled crookedly before sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"Mm.. Yeah? What's up King?" I mumbled.

"It's time for dinner, c'mon, you get to taste Yuzu's cooking and get to meet Karin as well."

I couldn't help but squirm involuntarily; the thought of meeting even more people who were close to the orange head had me reeling in my mind. I sighed before getting up and following Ichigo out of his room and into the kitchen, towards the now very pronounced and amazing smell. I watched the berry's hips sway and felt my southern regions stirring to life, biting my tongue; I scolded my libido for begging for my attention so constantly.

"Karin, Yuzu, I'd like you to meet someone."

I immediately straightened my back and stiffened when I realized Ichigo had begun to introduce me. My gaze flicked over to the two young girls who couldn't have been older than 16, one had a more feminine look with soft, light brown hair that was tied into two pigtails on either side of the girl's head. She had large brown eyes that looked somewhat similar to Ichigo's, but without that aggressive fire masked underneath them. The other had ink black hair that was cropped on either side of her clear face, allowing her striking dark eyes to be noted by anyone, unlike her sister, this girl's eyes resembled her brother's more than anything.

"Hey. I'm Karin, Ichigo's sister. Nice to meet you." The raven drawled unenthusiastically.

I blinked before I remembered I probably looked like a rude dumbass in front of these girls, I had to introduce myself as well, I guess. "Oh uh, hey. I'm Shiro. Nice ta meet ya too."

"It's so nice to meet Ichi-nii's boyfriend! You can call me Yuzu, Shiro-chan!" the other girl piped excitedly.

I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly as I avoided those huge beaming eyes, adverting my gaze to my toes instead. Ichi nudged my side quickly before I spoke again.

"Nice ta meet ya too Yuzu. Uhm. It's nice ta meet Ichi's sisters finally."

Yuzu's smile only got bigger and I only became more uncomfortable as she responded. "Yeah, we're sorry about that. We've been out at a friend's house the last couple of days, I feel so bad that we weren't able to meet sooner! I just hope you treat my Ichi-nii good!"

"Erm yeah of course."

"Great! Now please join us for dinner!"

I nodded as I sat at the far end of the small table with Ichi to my right, while Yuzu served us our food. There were two empty seats yet Karin and Yuzu decided to sit in the seats that were closer to Ichi and I. I soon learned a few different things while at the dinner table with the family. Number one, Yuzu's cooking was to fucking, DIE for. I'd pass up every delicacy in the world if it meant having a steaming bowl of Yuzu's pork and vegetable soup waiting for me. Also, I learned Karin was into soccer, and was very excited to know that I could perhaps play a few games with her sometime. Yuzu asked a few times if I'd be interested in learning how to cook from her as well, and not exactly not knowing what to say, I said yes.

What the fuck am I getting myself into?

After we finished eating I helped Yuzu with the dishes, nodding and listening along to her stories about how she wants to get into a dance class while I scrubbed the leftovers off of the china. Afterwards, she thanked me and I made my way upstairs into Ichi's room, stripping off my shirt. I exhaled the biggest sigh that I have ever heaved in my short life and plopped onto my bed's soft mattress as I waited for the berry to come upstairs as well.

I couldn't stop my fucking mind from reeling all over the place, the discord and mixed emotions beginning to give me a head splitting migraine. It felt as if two rabid bears were having a wrestling match within the confines of my head, only much worse.

'What the fuck is goin' on? Ichi's sisters seem to really like me, an' tha worst part is they want me ta be a good influence on him too!'

I groaned before grabbing the pillow sitting harmlessly next to me and smashing it against my face. I inhaled and exhaled deeply, taking in and relishing in the spicy yet saccharine smell that can only be described as Ichigp.

Wait. Back the fuck up. I didn't say that, you can't fucking prove it.

'Tha fuck am I now? Have I grown a vag since being here?'

"Shiro?"

I froze before moving the pillow away from my face, Ichi was standing in the doorway biting his lip, his eyes transfixed onto me.

When the fuck did he get in here?

"Yeah? Didja need somethin', King?"

"Uhm. I was just wondering if you were ok…"

"Hn? Yeah just feel a little stiff, s'nothin bad."

"Stiff?"

"Yeah."

I watched as the orange head seemed to think for a moment, his caramel orbs focusing on seemingly nothing before fixing themselves back onto me, his decision apparently have been made. My body seemed to stay still on its own accord as I watched the enticing body slowly walk towards me before drawling up onto the end of the bed, the springs squeaking in protest from the sudden weight added. Ichi crawled towards me in a way that reminded me of a predator stalking its prey quietly, I guess you can say I was definitely interested now.

'Hnn? Now wha do we got here?'

_Normal POV_

A sly smirk crossed Ichigo's face as the berry smashed his lips against a pair of pale ones, resulting in a surprised, low throaty growl to escape from Shirosaki's throat. It wasn't long before the fierce kiss turned into a heated battle of dominance; the albino's soon winning out as their tongues slid together in a heated dance. Slim, peach digits ran over and left trails of fire along the perfectly sculpted marble torso, while the berry's tongue curled around Shirosaki's ear. The latter only able to bite his lip and groan in his current position.

"Nn, ahh, f-fuck Ichi what're—"

The albino was abruptly cut off as sharp canines nipped at his pulse point, causing him to inhale sharply and send a glare at the orange head currently sucking at his neck.

"Shh. You talk way too much."

Shirosaki had the perfect comeback already thought out; he really did, but he was only able to gasp softly as Ichigo pulled off his boxers and pants with one swift tug, leaving his aching erection standing proudly and vulnerable to the light draft in the room.

"F-fuahh, s-shit don't do tha—"

The orange head only ignored his lover's pleas as he began ruthlessly sucking and nipping at the albino's personal weak spot; his adam's apple. Soft growls and groans echoed in the room as Ichigo's sly fingers grabbed onto Shiro's pulsing sex before beginning to stroke torturously slow, only adding more to the explosive concoction that was threatening to send the aroused beyond belief albino flying over his peak.

"Mmm, auhnn" Shiro couldn't help but arch his back ever so slightly when the enticing berry began planting soft kisses all the way down his body, stopping right under the demon's naval before swirling his tongue around the short patch of skin teasingly.

Shiro could've sworn his jaw unhinged when it fell open because of the sudden feeling of Ichigo's hot mouth blowing warm puffs against his dripping arousal, sending liquid fire into his veins.

Ichigo on the other hand chuckled darkly before a pink tongue flicked the darkened tip to lap up milky pearls of precum that had begun to form on the tip of Shiro's cock. Parting bruised lips and placing the tip of the engorged flesh between them, Ichigo began to suck ruthlessly, earning him a very breathy moan from Shiro's lips.

"Ahh, fuck y-yes Ichi!"

A pink tongue delved out once again to trace the underside of the hard flesh, teasing the thick vein there before retreating back into that sinful mouth, repeating the process multiple times before it had the albino panting for breath and growling under his breath.

"Shit berry, just do what yer supposed ta do best!"

As if on cue, Ichigo hollowed his cheeks before swallowing Shiro's rock hard length whole; a chocked out moan from the latter rewarding the berry's efforts. Lidded gold on obsidian orbs locked their sights heatedly on the bobbing orange head currently servicing his pulsing cock, the sight alone allowing the heated coil in his belly to tighten desperately.

"Ahh fuahh, s-shit Ichi, m'so close just keep playing with me!"

Ichigo made a small noise of acknowledgement from the back of his throat as he made quick work of his previously unentertained fingers; using them to roll and gently squeeze the albino's testicles ludely. The action soon had its consequences; pale digits grabbed onto the mass of soft, spiky orange hair while an animalistic growl escaped from the ivory skinned man, making Ichigo moan out in delight.

"Shit, m'sorry I gotta do this Ichi..!"

Ragged pants and moans slipped from plump pale lips as Shirosaki bucked his hips into the hot, moist cavern desperately, chasing his release down with vigor. The orange head on top held onto slim ivory hips as a precaution, as to not let the heated albino buck in too far. Half-mast caramel eyes suddenly widened as Ichigo felt the diamond hard cock inside of his mouth twitch; making him realize that Shirosaki had finally reached the crest of his release.

"Ahh fuck! ICHIGOOOOO!"

Ichigo could've sworn Shirosaki's last deep growl was more animal than any man as he felt Shiro's cock pulse before a stream of hot liquid was shooting down his throat. The berry closed his eyes as he attempted to take every last drop of Shrio's essence, failing as a small amount of the creamy substance dribbled from the corner of his mouth. He blinked before looking up into a pair of hazed topaz eyes staring back at him.

"Mm, hey Ichi, thanks fer that. I really needed it." The albino slurred, clearly coming down from his sexual high.

"N-no problem" he responded.

"Ya got a little somethin' on tha corner of yer lip." Cooed Shirosaki as he leaned in to wipe the cum off of Ichigo's lip, but was highly surprised (and confused) when said orange head dodged the oncoming fingers and wiped the sticky substance off himself with the back of his hand.

"Well, I'm happy that you're feeling better. Goodnight!"

Shirosaki watched stupefied as Ichigo abruptly slid off the bed before crawling under the covers of his own parallel to the albino's, laying down in a manner which his back faced the latter. Minutes went by and Ichigo said nothing, and soon the demon was able to hear a soft breathing noise coming from the berry's direction.

Ichigo had fallen asleep.

'What in tha hell is goin' on…?" Shirosaki thought to himself as he turned off the light inside the room.

* * *

><p>Wellll? How was it? I know they didn't have awesome sexy-times but I promise there will be some in the next chapter; I just really needed to get this chapter out of the way. I swear, it was supposed to be up two nights ago but I kept getting stuck, I had NO friggin' clue where to take it this time. Sigh, I'm such a whiner sometimes, I'm sorry. I still love you guys. Don't give up on me. So yeah, please leave some comments (they're better than vanilla shakes~), ask me questions, talk to me, and stay tuned for some of my awesome upcoming updates! I'm gonna go cuddle with my pillow now, cuz he loves me. (Loser) Ja na~<p>

-Your humble Servant,

Dani.


	6. Some Space

**A/N;** Uhm, hallo c: tis me again… With another late update, guys. I'm sorry… I know I suck, punish me later though T_T (oh baby~) haha… I'm sorry for being creepy; it just means I love you. Ahem, anyways, onwards~ (OH YEAH. And for _Dami-desu_: no, but I wish I had a Grimm-kitty plushie, although it would never be clean, if ya catch my drift, heh~ And 'nilla milkshakes, fer the win baby~ talk to me sometimes :D)

**Warning;** This is a YAOI fanfic! There is smut, or boy on boy action here! If this ain't yer cup o' tea then please skiddadle! Rough language, alcohol, smoking, violence. AU and slight OOC, I skip around with the POV (Point of Views) quite often. Un-beta'ed, so there are more than likely a few mistakes.

**Disclaimer;** I own absolutely nothing, I make no money off of these fics. It all belongs to Tite Kubo. Because if I owned this anime/manga, there would be a lot less fight and a lot more… heh…

Normal = Present time

_Italicized = Past time _

* * *

><p><em><span>Shirosaki's POV<span>_

I couldn't sleep one bit. Not ONE fuckin' bit. After that phenomenal fuckin' head that Ichi had given me, I felt like I was ready to sleep for days; I was that satisfied. But then the kid pulled a fuckin' 180 and went right back to sleep after that.

What an asshole.

I stayed up all night just staring at the back of his head; even if there were no lights besides the dull beams of moonlight through closed curtains leaking into the room, Ichi's hair was still practically glowing, almost like a traffic cone against the stark contrast of an onyx pavement. I almost gave myself a migraine with how hard I was concentrating on the figure of my aibou, I just couldn't figure this shit out: he acts completely normal with everything around him except for me, even going as far as ignoring any lip locking action that I might just want to participate in.

A small growl escaped the confines of my chest as I felt the warm, fuzziness of fatigue taking toll on my body, but not my mind. It's a weird feeling, really. It was almost if my mind knew that I was tired, but my head wouldn't give me the fucking privilege of just being able to sleep. I took note of how Ichi's chest fell and expanded as he breathed softly, a small puff of air following in tandem. He looked so peaceful from my perspective despite his back looked like it was full of knots from stress and kami knows what else.

Damn. This was going to be rough. Now time to try and fall asleep again.

-Next few months, November-

_Normal POV_

Cocoa orbs shifted from side to side nervously down the empty streets before Ichigo adjusted the thick coat around himself, trying to protect his chest from the biting edge of the autumn wind. The oranget quickly shifted to the apartment complex across the stree in the coldt, keeping his head down as low as possible while he did so.

'Fuck.. Why am I doing this again..?' Ichigo whined internally as he slowed his gait to the door.

A small shiver traveled up the length of the orange head's body while his cheeks became redder than what they already were, the wind was being really fucking annoying right now and wasn't helping. A small puff of hot air left the berry's lips as he stared at the door in front of himself with determined eyes. He knew he wasn't a coward, so he wasn't exactly sure why he was so terrified right about now. Perfect white teeth bit down on a plump bottom lip as Ichigo lifted a timid fist to rap on the door three times, hesitantly at first, then it became louder by the third.

First there was silence for a few seconds. Then the orange head heard the distinct sound of grumbling behind the door and heavy footsteps gradually becoming louder. A pause, then suddenly the door opened wide to reveal a very surprised Grimmjow; arms across a thermal covered chest and a fine blue brow raised.

"Mmm, berry? What're ya doin' here….?"

The latter's courage let up ever so slightly at the deep rumbling of his ex-lover's quiet voice, his eyes retreated to his feet before clearing his throat prominently. He used his right foot to wipe off some snow from his other foot as he retorted quietly.

"Uhm, can we talk for a little?"

Grimmjow leaned his heavy frame against the frame of his door as his eyes narrowed ever so slightly, his gaze still locked on the berry. Ichigo didn't have to look up to know the immensity of the heated glare directed at the top of his head.

"I dunno, berry. Yer crazy boyfriend ain't here, is he?"

A strong back stiffened as Ichigo lifted his gaze ever so slightly at Grimmjow before he snapped quickly. "No, he isn't, now let me in before I fucking freeze out here, jackass."

The taller of the men let his scowl slowly morph into a lopsided smirk before his chest rumbled with an amused scoff. Grimmjow was happy to see that the fire Ichigo was known for wasn't gone just yet. He stepped aside with his arm outstretched towards the inside of his home, his gaze never leaving the orange head.

"Alright, I'd rather not get sued fer yer ass getting frostbite, so c'mon in."

_Shirosaki's POV_

I let out what seemed like the millionth sigh for the day as I looked outside the dirty fuckin' window of this café I was workin' at to the white stuff falling from the sky onto the ground below and piling up slowly but surely.

Ichigo said it was called, snow.

About a month ago, Ichigo suggested that I stared working somewhere since I got bored way too easily, and now that the berry was working too I couldn't spend all my time with the sexy bitch. He hooked me up with this job at a café one of his dad's friends owned called _Café Tart_ the owner's name was Byakuya Kuchiki. The guy was kind of an asshole, but Ichigo told him about my predicament and in the end all I had to do was interview, show I knew how to use the machine and the gig was mine. At first it was kinda scary, cuz when it steams it makes this hissing noise and I almost messed my pants, but I got over it. Ichi also said that he needed to contribute to the house more than just washing the dishes every night with Yuzu, so that was fair.

I guess.

It was cold outside, really cold outside. Like, to the point where just the breeze that came in when someone opened the door to come inside froze yer nuts off and made you wanna knit a damn sweater, thank kami that there weren't many people coming in today.

Which was weird, because normally people came in when it was cold out to mooch off of our free wifi and sip some overpriced lattes, so a slow day here on these kind of days was rare.

"Keep your head up, Shiro-san! We still have at least another 3 hours before you can go and fall asleep!" piped an annoying voice.

I snarled low in my throat as I sent daggers via eye contact to the source of the voice. The man had pale blond hair that looked it had a tornado taken to it with bright steely eyes. The look on my face went either completely ignored or unnoticed by the overly joyous man, it pissed me off.

"Can it, Urahara. We 'avent had a customer in 30 minutes, and it's the early shift! Stop bein' so damn loud!"

The blond only laughed as he fanned his face with his green and beige fan (where the hell did he pull it out of?!) as he continued with his annoying ass voice.

"Ah Shi-san don't be such a gloom, it wasn't supposed to agitate you I was only trying to help!"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes as I leaned against the counter again with my crossed arms supporting my chin, I sighed as I continued to watch the snow.

"Well it ain't helpin'. I just wanna get back to my place."

_Ichigo's POV_

I laughed as I watched Grimmjow make the most ridiculous faces and motions as he motioned about how he had gotten into this fight with a bartender a few years ago. I'd never tell him, but Grimm tended to be very expressive with his hands whenever he talked, not in a gay or overly feminine fashion, but just very exuberant and exaggerated, it was hilarious.

Blue eyes locked onto to me before Grimm stopped abruptly, he had an annoyed face now. I couldn't help it, I laughed for real this time.

"Wha's so funny berry?"

I shook my head and grinned wide. "No nothing, I was listening, go on please."

The blunet seemed somewhat pleased and continued with his story, arms flailing around anew.

After Grimmjow let me into his house, I had apologized to him about the misunderstanding with Shiro, yelling at him and even for hitting him even though I knew he hadn't meant to hit me. For the first time in what seemed like years, Grimmjow actually looked sad before he pulled me into his thick chest and hugged me tight.

"_I'm sorry too.. I wasn't tryin' ta hit cha. And I shouldn't have been fighting with yer boyfriend either. I guess it was nerves tha' got ta me. It won't happen again, I know ya love him, Ichi."_

Love.

I tried my damnest not to look away from his piercing blue gaze when he said that. I still hadn't told him about the fight Shiro and I had, and how he had hurt me, because well damn, I won't tell anyone about that. And especially my ex who will do one of two things; one, kill my stupid boyfriend. Or two, laugh at me and say I told you so. No fucking thank you.

That was strictly between me and Shirosaki.

After when got past the awkwardness he sat us down and we just started talking about our day, our jobs, and other stuff we hadn't had a chance to talk about at that point. Notice how I didn't include Shirosaki in any of that?

Yeah, I was going to go ahead and keep it that way.

"Ne, berry?"

I snapped out of my thoughts before looking at Grimm and grunting out an answer that slightly resembled a "yeah?".

He chuckled lowly before standing up from where he was sitting directly across from me. I looked up at him as he twisted to stretch his joints carefully before his eyes landed back to me.

"I was gonna make some hot chocolate, ya want some too?"

I grinned and nodded my head up and down, not giving a flying shit if I looked like a little kid to him, which I probably did because Grimm barked in laughter the moment I did.

I watched as Grimm walked over to the small kitchenette and digging around his cupboards for all the right ingredients and mugs after he set a kettle of water to boil on the stovetop. A small vibration in my pants pocket caught my attention, so I snatched the small plastic device from my front pocket before I flipped the screen open and read the small black lettering.

"_You enjoying your day off?"_

I chuckled before I responded quickly to my old friend, Renji Abarai.

"_Yeah, what about you?"_

I clicked send before yawning quietly and stretching my own body out, thinking of my loud friend.

Renji and I had known each other for years now, perhaps as long as I had known Grimmjow. The guy had riotous red hair that was almost always pulled back into a ponytail, and the guy was covered from head to toe in tribal tattoos since the beginning of high school. But the most notable thing about the guy had to be his loud attitude, he couldn't walk down the street without people giving him weird looks from how loud and blunt he was. I certainly hadn't forgotten the first time that I had met him.

_I stared down at my algebra assignment, guilt welling up in my stomach as I thought about how pissed my dad would be if he found out this was going to be my 4__th__ missing assignment in 2 weeks. I quickly began sketching in random answers and formulas as quickly as I possibly could._

"_Hey."_

_I looked up and saw this kid standing over my seat, just staring at me. _

"_Hi. Now go away." I muttered, before letting my eyes fall back to the paper, determined to get this thing finished._

"_Why'd you dye your hair THAT fuckin' orange, kid?"_

_I felt a vein in my temple twitch as I looked back at the annoying kid. I glared at him before standing up; he was only a few inches taller than me but I still tried to stare him down._

"_Hey, this ain't dyed, it's my natural hair color. Now leave me alone you monkey." I snapped back at him._

"_But it's so freakin' orange, fruit cup!" he whined in retort._

"_Yeah? And yours looks like it was left out in the sun too long!"_

_The boy stayed quiet for a moment. "….Touché, parking cone head."_

"_Pineapple."_

"_Rise an' shine."_

"_CHILI PEPPER!" I finally yelled._

"_Abarai! Kurosaki! To the office right now! That's enough of your ridiculous argument!" yelled our pint sized homeroom teacher, Ms. Fon. She was the crankiest bitch in the school that anyone had ever had the displeasure of meeting._

_Me and this Abarai kid looked over at eachother simultaneously before we turned to look at our feet and muttered in tandem._

"_PMSing bitch."_

_No one had ever seen Ms. Fon's face get that red from yelling, and I had never laughed harder as Abarai and I walked our way down to Principal Yamamoto's office. When we finally caught our breaths, Abarai looked over at me with crinkled eyes and grinned like a damn monkey. _

"_So, what's yer name, rise an' shine?"_

_I laughed at the new name and looked back at the weird kid. "Ichigo. Ichigo Kurosaki. Yours?"_

"_Renji Abarai, bro._

"_Cool."_

"…_.So you wanna be friends?"_

_I laughed again as he gave me a weird look, I only stopped to respond simply._

"_That was pretty gay, of course we can."_

_Then we burst out in a whole new fit of laughter. Ever since then we became almost inseparable._

Soon afterwards, I had found out that he worked at the pawn shop that I applied to, and we began talking again after I had snagged the job. Sure, we were talking to each other before that but not even nearly as much. The guy was still annoying as fuck, but was an awesome friend that I could tell almost anything to, not as much as Grimmjow but definitely up there on my list.

"Whipped cream?"

I chuckled as I closed my eyes and whiffed the heavenly smell of cocoa that had finally reached its way over to me on the couch.

"Is that even a question? Layer that shit on there."

Grimmjow only laughed before I heard the _swooshing_ sound of the whipped cream leaving the confines of the condensed can and onto the top of the mug. I opened my eyes as I heard Grimm approach me with his outstretched arm offering possibly the biggest mug of hot chocolate I have ever witnessed; it was heavy enough to be practically full with a tower of melting whipped cream on top, sprinkled with cocoa nubs and powder and a vanilla wafer sticking out from the side, a few fat marshmallows were also in the process of drowning in the sea of whipped cream, practically blending in. Was that also an underlying smell of peppermint I smelled in there? Fuck I hope so.

I practically snatched the mug out of Grimmjow's big hand before thanking him and taking another greedy wiff of the stuff; the sweet scent clouding up my thoughts and making my mouth water. I was about to take a gulp before Grimmjow spoke.

"So uhm, where is yer boyfriend, anyways?"

I looked up at him as he carefully sat down on the chair across from me again; his eyes were trained on me even as he sipped at his fresh cocoa carefully. I cradled my own mug as I looked down at the drink before I spoke.

"He's uhm, working, right now…"

"Oh yeah?" muttered Grimm as he sipped again. "where at?"

"Mmm, he works at this coffee shop as a barista. He likes it there."

"Tha's good. How is he?"

I stiffened as I stared down at my feet, my subconscious started to kick as I absently mindedly began drumming the tips of my fingers against the ceramic mug, I thought for a moment about not responding at all, that was until Grimm grunted in impatience for my answer.

"I'm… not exactly sure." I finally muttered.

"Waddya mean ya don' know?" he threw back.

I sighed and began. "he's been acting all weird. I'm not sure what is going through his mind right now." I finally took a sip of my cocoa before continuing on. "he's just kinda cold and— Grimm? Is there fuckin' alcohol in this drink?" I made a face as I realized the undeniable bitter taste of alcohol hitting my tongue, warming my blood.

The blue haired menace's face went from serious to devilish as he let out a loud bark of laughter; I only looked at this psycho incredulously.

"Hey, there ain't such a thing as startin' the party too early!"

"What's in this?" I pushed.

"*Hot Cocoberry. Nice taste, eh? I finally perfected it."

Now I couldn't argue with that logic, this stuff was pretty damn good, I must admit. I cautiously took another sip of the concoction which only made Grimm smile proudly when my face melted from how damn good the drink was. I took another few sips of the heavenly liquid.

"Yeah, it is pretty god I guess."

"Thanks berry." Grimm set his own mug onto the coffee table in between as before leaning his forearms onto his knees and the rest of his body forward, his eyes becoming hard and focused on me again. Had I not know him forever, this would've probably made me very uncomfortable.

"So now, go on about Shiro again, what's going on?" he spoke slowly.

I swallowed another gulp of the cocoa before my eyes met his tropical blues. I knew I wasn't going to get out of this one without spilling everything kept inside of me.

I curled my legs under me onto the couch before I decided to quietly continue. "I don't think he feels the same way I feel for him." that was the understatement of the century. "And I feel like I'm getting too… attached."

A blue brow quirked up as the man across from me opened his mouth to speak. I only raised my palm to him, it made him quiet.

"Please. Just hush and don't judge. I want to tell you what's going on, remember?"

An exasperated sigh left the confines of Grimmjow's chest but surprisingly, he nodded his head in an affirmative, allowing me to speak.

"Ok. Thanks Grimm. But anyways. We were having this fight and well… He was just saying these really awful things, it really hurt and although I'd hate to say it, I had already really started trusting him. So when he was yelling at me I kinda figured out that well.. I guess he doesn't love me the way I'd like him to. I just- I don't know, I feel like I'm a toy, just a plaything for a while. And now he just seems to always be on edge, he isn't even all cocky and loud like he used to be, it's making me worried as fuck, Grimm…"

Grimmjow seemed to be lost as he searched through his thoughts before lifting his eyes back to me again. "So, am I allowed to say something now?"

"It depends" I said carefully.

"I ain't gonna judge ya, if that's whatcha think I'm gonna do." He grunted defensively.

I laughed sadly before I offered Grimmjow a smile. "Yeah, ok, what?"

He took his time taking his mug and taking another swig from the bittersweet drink, relishing in the way the alcohol tangled around his tongue. I waited patiently before he pulled away. His voice was rough, and lightly strained. "Do you honestly love this guy, Ichi?"

I interlined my fingers and stared at them for a while, just thinking about Shirosaki and everything we've been through, our relationship, the way he talks, the things he does. Was I sure I loved him? Was I alright with all the shit he's been pulling lately? Is it ok for me to be ok with it? Do I truly love him..?

Of course I do. He was everything to me. I'm an idiot, so yeah.

I looked back at Grimmjow with a forced smile forming at my lips already. "Yes, I do."

He chuckled softly before crossing his left ankle onto his right knee and leaning back. "Dumb, but I guess I kinda admire that. So what are you plannin' to do 'bout him?"

"Well. What I have been doing lately."

A blue brow quirked questioningly at that statement.

"I'm giving him the space he deserves… No matter how much it hurts me." I answered simply.

_Shirosaki's POV_

I sighed in happy fucking relief as I took off that stupid apron they made us wear at the café and hung it on the rack in the back of the kitchen where the rest of them went. I made sure to clean out to machines and tins, also made sure to throw away the empty syrup bottles and full trash bags. I happily skipped over to Urahara and stood in front of him. I rocked back and forth on the balls of me feet with my arms crossed behind my back as I reminded him in the most annoying sing-song voice ever.

"Today's payday, ya know."

The blond only chuckled as he made his way over to his table and unlocking one of the drawers and slipping out a small rectangular piece of paper and slapping it onto the wooden surface.

"Ma ma, I know that."

I snickered and waited for him to sign the check and let me go on my merry fuckin way. Working on the days when the head works also has its perks, ya know.

"Alright now to sign it over to…"

I noticed that his hand froze in place with the black pen as he seemed to be stumped for a moment as he stared intently first at the check then at me with those steel grey eyes of his. He looked like he was thinking as hard as he possibly could. I raised an eyebrow as his weird antics before putting my hands on my hips.

"Shirosaki, remember? C'mon Urahara, ya 'have done this atleast a dozen times by now. Ya didn't ferget how ta spell it didja?"

He continued to stare at me as if he legitimately had no idea who I was. I cocked my head to the side and let my eyes narrow.

"Kisuke…"

Then the weirdest thing happened.

He blinked and gave me one his dumb grins before he quickly scribbled my name onto the line of the check. Any signs of confusion were completely gone and were replaced with his regular mannerisms in record time. Almost like it never happened. When he finished he handed me the piece of paper and quipped.

"Of course I know you, Shiro-san! Have a nice day and stay warm!~"

I looked at him questioningly before I stuffed the check into the pocket of my jeans and turned away, thanking him. After I put on my jacket and wool scarf, I opened the door to the café, making the little bell at the top of it jingle happily, before I walked out into the freezing abyss, thinking of that weird look Urahara was giving me.

He looked lost. Like he was put face to face with a complete stranger. And as quickly as it came it was gone.

"Weird fuckin' guy, alright" I mumbled as I trudged on through the unforgiving snow.

* * *

><p>*Hot Cocoberry - A form of adult hot chocolate that has been spiked with coconut rum and raspberry liquor.<p>

Yay!~ I'm back I'm back~ Anyone miss me? Anyone? No? Alright then ;~;

Anyways, terribly sorry for the wait, school's been hell since it's my last year; college and work await me! I'm so nervous I feel like I'm gonna pee myself T_T (that's gross, Dani.) I know, I'm sorry D;

But yeah. Sorry there was no smut, there will be in the next chappy, and yes, I AM workin on my other fic AND a sexy one-shot for you dirty little smut critters out there~ That's for YOU, babeh~ So remember, don't forget to leave a review on this story here (they're like shakes and cupcakes~), PM me to chat, ask me questions, check out my other stuff if ya haven't yet and stay tuned for my next surprise! Thank you all so much~ I'm gonna go cuddle with my Pocky and pillow now, Ja na my loves~

-Your humble Servant,

Dani.


	7. This is it

**A/N; **Yo! It's been awhile hasn't it? Sorry for the super late chapter, but the holidays are always so busy, ya know? With the whole present getting, gift wrapping, weight gaining time of the year. Tis the season, motherfuckers. Soo yeah. Hope you guys enjoy the fuck outta this chapter and I'll see you sexy little children at the bottom~ (Woowww if I don't get arrested for that one I'm gonna be REAL surprised). AND. Thank you ALL for your amazing reviews, I read them all and when I do it gives me all these naughty, sexy feelings in my— -clears throat* erm. Yeah. But I really do love your reviews; they give meaning to my life c:

**Warning;** There IS some violent/forced sexual advances (some might even consider it rape, but not exactly) in this chapter between BOY AND BOY. If you didn't figure that second part out yet by now then well, you need glasses, fool. But yeah; language, sex, adult themes.

**Disclaimer;** I own NOTHING. I make no money off these fics nor am I endorsed by Bleach in any way, shape or form… Wish I was though, there would be a lot more homoerotic sexytimes per episode~

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><p><em><span>Shirosaki's POV<span>_

Shit fuck damnit!

Why did it have to be so goddamn freezing outside?! It was barely mid-November, and it was like, a hundred below!...

Ok, maybe that's a fuckin' exaggeration.

But seriously, after I had left the coffee shop, I started walking back home through the deserted streets. It's almost like Kami took white out and just went fuckin' berserk all over town; the streetlights, cars, sidewalks, rooftops, all of it were covered by the snow. And it didn't really help that I got this huge headache right after the little.. I don't even know if I should call it an "incident", with Kisuke. My eyes pulsed and my temples bulged, it almost felt as if something was trying to escapes the confines of my skull using a goddamn jackhammer.

I haven't had a headache like this since the night I came out of Ichigo's head.

Scowling at the ground as if it personally wronged me, I continued pushing against the unforgiving frozen wind that prickled against my face like miniscule needles.

-x-

It took about 30 minutes to get back to the house; I sighed in relief as I slammed the door shut then locked it, effectively locking out the biting wind. My body trembled when I felt the warmth coming from the heater going full blast.

'Fuck, so quiet in here… is no one home yet?'

I looked around for any sign that anyone was around as I flipped on the light to the living room. After pulling off my soaked cons and socks then setting them onto the floor by the door, I called out to the room.

"Ey, Ichi, , you guys 'ere?"

I paused to listen for a second before determining that no one was home. Karin must've been with her weird punkass redheaded friend Jinta at the video game store, Yuzu at dance practice, Mr. Kurosaki late at work and Ichigo…

… wait where WAS Ichigo?

I huffed and scowled before pulling my phone out of my pocket and quickly dialing my aibou. I held the phone up to my ear before going up to our room and stripping off my scarf, coat, and sweater. The receiver kept ringing. And ringing.

Then his voicemail message.

"damnit…"

I growled before hitting the end button on my phone then stripping my under shirt off furiously, then throwing it onto the floor. I whirled around and pounced onto my comforter before crawling under its warmth, I sighed happily at the feathery feel of the material. I stared out into the darkness in the room before my tired mind began to wander, the effects from the migraine I had earlier was beginning to wear off and now all I felt was an overwhelming exhaustion crushing my body. A head of orange head filled my thoughts and tantalizing coffee colored eyes had me buzzing for a moment, before I felt a stinging feeling behind my eyelids. I cussed loudly at the awful feeling that was threatening to burn my head up.

"Fuck… Where's Ichigo?..." I could barely hear myself whisper before I was out like a light.

_Ichigo's POV_

I had the biggest and goofiest smile slapped on my face after I left Grimm's place. I stayed for longer than I had intended, but shit, it was worth it.

Grimm was one of the most entertaining people to talk with, we never ran out of things to talk about. He always had something to say, and luckily, I always had something to respond to it. We switched topics so many times; it's a miracle that I could recall the whole night clearly, especially since after I had finished off that cocoa, I bravely asked for seconds. Grimmjow had no objections to that request and I had no problem finishing that delicious concoction.

I chuckled as I thought about that blue haired menace; I realized that I wouldn't find another friend like him even if I had a million lifetimes to try to. It's no surprise that he was such a great boyfriend right before things went downhill with his job. He was sweet, caring, an extreme sexual deviant…

I felt my cheeks light up as I shook my head furiously to rid myself of those heavy, dirty thoughts that used to plague my mind like some sweet disease once upon a time ago.

Anyways.

Before I had gotten there, I was in what seemed like an unbreakable funk, my depression was practically seeping out of my pores and rubbing off onto everyone else around me.

Well, except Shiro, of course.

But after I sat down and talked with Grimmjow, just asking him for advice and just speaking generally about our lives, I felt like I can handle anything Shirosaki throws at me.

Still smiling I looked down to check my missed calls and messages while I toed off my shoes and closed the door behind me, the house seemed a little chillier than what it normally was. My smiled faltered a little when I realized that Shiro tried calling me a little more than half an hour ago. I shrugged off my jacket and left it on the coat hanger before my lips quirked up into a small smile. When I stayed quiet, a soft snoring could be heard from upstairs in my room.

I skipped the stairs by two as silently as I could until I got to the top. I shuffled over to my room and peeked inside only to see a shock of lily hair peeking from the pile of black comforter. I chuckled and walked over to the bed before I sat down next to my boyfriend's sleeping form. I patted and stroked the soft locks between my fingers haphazardly, idly musing about how I needed to take him for a haircut soon. The soft tresses already dangled past his collarbone, Shiro had taken a habit of pulling his hair back into a ponytail lately, I teased him actively for it, saying he looked like a girl, even though it actually suit him pretty well. His undeniably masculine form looked good no matter what he did with his hair, it's just his reactions were priceless. His form shifted slightly when my fingers brushed against the shell of his ears towards the line of his jaw, trying to get away from my touch. Chuckling, I decided to lean down and give him a kiss before I went off to start dinner.

Ok, I squeaked, yes and honest to Kami SQUEAK when I suddenly felt a cold hand pull me back down, I landed and bounced right next to my previously sleeping boyfriend. I turned to meet very awake, very _angry_ topaz eyes gleaming with a soft sheen of tears.

_Shirosaki's POV_

"…Where ya been, aibou?"

My voice felt like sandpaper had thoroughly abused it, and afterwards someone had stuffed cotton balls into it for extra measure as I spoke. My head was still pounding, shrieking as I mean-mugged my orange haired boyfriend as best as my post-sleep delirious self could do. Ichigo shrunk back ever so slightly at my look, but he immediately straightened back up all defiantly and feisty.

I wasn't in the mood for that shit of his right now.

"Well, if you gotta know, I was with Grimmjow just hanging out at his place, Shirosaki"

_Normal POV _

The orange head wasn't entirely sure what had made him so brave (the alcohol, perhaps?), but he soon realized that he had yanked his arm away from the albino so fast the latter had actually moved a little off of the bed, whilst Ichigo was now standing, looking down at Shiro. Ochre eyes narrowed defiantly as Ichigo crossed his arms over his chest and shifted his weight onto one of his legs; completely ignoring the seething look Shiro was sending him that would've turned any other person to a pile of ash in a second. Molten gold locked with fiery chestnut as Ichigo spoke slowly as if he were talking to a child, a tick slowly forming on the albino's eyebrow with every word that came from the soft peach lips.

"You can't tell me what to do, you don't want me around lately so I went to apologize to Grimm, and you have no right to be mad at me, Shiro. You do not OWN me..!" he finished with a hiss.

A carnal growl escaped the confinements of insanely sharp canines as Shiro stood up so fast he knocked down the nightstand next to his bed, a cry mixed with shock and pain flew past Ichigo's lips as the demon pinned his wrists to the wall opposite, his furious face merely centimeters away from Ichigo's own shocked one. Another pained whimper left Ichigo as Shirosaki unknowingly gripped onto the orange head's wrists, slowly cutting off circulation.

"I do NOT want to hear this shit from your pretty little MOUTH right now Kurosaki, I haven't been very happy with you as it is, I don't wanna hear it!

A snarl mixed with a cry left Ichigo's abused pink lips as he tried prying his wrists away from the alabaster grip, only becoming even more frustrated when he couldn't. He could feel his eyes watering as Shiro only gripped harder as his lips neared his ear, his watery voice barely audible with the ringing in Ichigo's ears.

"Don't ya get it? You ARE mine, and that blue haired motherfucker is only ganna fuck things up, Ichi!"

A startled whimper was cut short when Ichigo was slammed onto the bed with Shiro on top of his body, pinning him down and smashing his own cold lips onto Ichigo's the moment he cried out, swallowing his cry like a thirsty man to water.

Even though Shirosaki was being unnecessarily rough and wasn't considering the orange head's physical state, the berry couldn't help but blush at the sudden jolt that went straight to his groin and made a small moan escape the confines of his throat.

Goddamn his hormones.

A cold marble hand snaked its way up Ichigo's shirt, making the oranget yelp in surprise from the sudden invasion that practically froze his skin blue. His body shuddered violently as the lily digits pinched mercilessly as a pebbled nipple; effectively simulating it with each tug.

Fuck, despite the fact that Shirosaki's hands were freezing, they could work magic..

Ichigo felt heat pooling into his groin, dripping heavily to his awakening cock that made his body suddenly much too hot for its skin. As if reading the thoughts of the berry, Shirosaki ripped off the offending material from the toned body, snarling downright carnally when the cloth caught on Ichigo's chin. A pleased smirk that made unadulterated shivers go down Ichigo's spine plastered itself onto cold lips while the demon's sly fingers pressed and rubbed against the tenting erection in his lover's stone washed jeans.

"Nnn—auugh! S-stop it Shi—oh fuck…!"

Ichigo's body was in an utter state of confusion as he simultaneously attempted to thrash about in order to escape the albino's deadly embrace and at the same time press his now straining erection into the persistent hand that was currently palming against it. Orange brows furrowed together in a desperate grimace, a small whimper reverberating against the bruised lips.

"P-please stop Shiro stop!..."

The plea fell on deaf ears as a plethora of sharp nips were applied to the skin of Ichigo's toned abdomen, drawing a light connect-the-dot scatter plot of blood on the skin. Shirosaki's snarl turned fierce as he slid Ichigo's left wrist closer to the right in order to be able to grasp both of them in his left hand, which his long fingers allowed him to do. Angry, swelling marks traced all around a previously unscathed peach body, the marks of the demon himself painting his own sadistic and euphoric portrait of pleasure.

The orange head's body curved into an almost perfect bridge as he attempted to buck off the body leering over him and taking advantage of his weakness. He had never felt so helpless in this position, so used; the fact that the act itself was leaving his blood singing in anticipation made his bones rattle with an unsettling sorrow. Hot, labored breaths flew past his lips at an unimaginable rate as Shirosaki had finally ripped off his slightly damp jeans along with his plain navy blue boxer briefs and began slurping his member with the hunger of an animal. He winced as his arms were being forced at an awkward angle while Shirosaki pleasured him and couldn't exactly reach his torso and arm length, resulting in a slight bend of elbows to Ichigo's right.

"Haahhh-ahhnn s-stop Shir—AHHHH!"

Beads of sweat gathered at knitted orange brows as heat pooled at an unimaginable rate in Ichigo's stomach while Shirosaki began to take the hard member deeper into his throat, until his nose pressed against a nest of orange curls. The orange head strained desperately against the death grip that Shirosaki had on his wrists, he just had to tug at that silky hair that bobbed back and forth on his weeping length.

An impish grin formed its way onto the corners of the demon's ashen lips as he released Ichigo's cock from his mouth, causing a loud popping noise to ring through the air. It wasn't a moment later until the berry felt his wrists being released all while he was roughly flipped onto his stomach without any warning, Shiro climbing and pressing onto his back with an animalistic growl leaving his throat. Honey brown eyes widened with worry as he felt the albino's hard denim covered cock pressing into his bare cheeks, lily hands shook as Shirosaki desperately tried to rip off the button to his jeans while simultaneously sliding off his boxer briefs.

"F-fuck wait Shiro stop please..!"

The plea died on the orange head's lips and was replaced by a sharp intake of breath and a pathetic whimper as the demon managed to free his heavy cock from its restraints and bury it to the hilt into Ichigo's tight cavern. A choked out sob flew past reddened lips and knuckles whitened with the intensity of how hard Ichigo grasped the bed sheets below him. Tears escaped and raced down the curve of his cheek and blurred his vision, a violent shiver rippled through the peach body as the demon's hot breath wafted across the expanse of Ichigo's back. With a grunt, Shirosaki started at a brutal pace that left the orange head's entrance burning and screaming at him in protest.

"FUCK…!"

Ichigo didn't know how long he endured this pleasurable torture that made his body feel ill from the invasion yet forced out lusty sighs and screams ripped right from his throat to be known to the barren room. His voice became rough and hoarse from the intensity of the cries that he barely recognized as his voice, he barely registered the primitive grunts and pants that came behind him from the man violating him. A blisteringly hot coil tightened in his belly as his muscles twitched and spasmed at a violent pace from the pace that Shirosaki set. His hips were gripped with hands of iron, and black painted nails dug into the pliant skin; making red welts rise. Ichigo felt his breath catch multiple times in his throat, he knew he wasn't even breathing heavily anymore, it was more like desperate whimpers and mewls that filled the stale air.

Within minutes, he was screaming his release with the absence of Shirosaki's name on his tongue, a change of the norm after their lovemaking. If Ichigo could even call it that, this time around. Shirosaki too, came only a few moments later with a low moan, releasing deep into Ichigo and giving a few rough thrusts more.

_Ichigo's POV_

I felt myself drop bonelessly into the spent and damp mattress below with my eyes wide open but blindly seeing ahead. My eyelids were heavy, and dropped gracelessly in exhaust. I felt something dribbling out of my previously used and abused entrance; I felt my lips pulling down into a scowl. It wasn't thick and incredibly sticky like normally, there was much more, and it was much thinner than sperm. I swallowed thickly and exhaled with a shaky breath.

It has to be blood, I guessed.

I barely registered the sound of denim rustling and the sharp sound of a zipper being pulled up. An undeniably disgusting wrenching grasped my already abused heart and refused to let go as I realized that the next sound was the closing of my bedroom door, and descending steps that faded slowly. With much effort, I kept the remains of his lunch into his stomach and tried my damnedest not to sit there and dry heave like an idiot for an hour straight. Shiver after shiver wracked through my body like crashing waves onto a shore, minus the tranquil feeling. I didn't have to look to know that my body was littered with bite marks, bruises and welts; I had never felt so disgusting and filthy before.

Soon, I was shaking because it was just downright cold and my body was still bare to the freezing air, the windows in my room were developing a slight frost. I didn't wanna move, I didn't even feel like reaching for a blanket sprawled out on the floor next to the bed to lay it across my freezing form. I laid there numbly, unsure where to track my mind at this moment. I felt like every beam and security that kept me from going absolutely berserk was just ripped from under me, and now I was free falling to a deep and endless abyss under me. A swaying sensation overcame me as if I was suddenly on a boat and I felt my vision blur suddenly for the second time today.

And that finally did it.

I leaned over, landing on the freezing wooden floor and heaved everything that was in my stomach into a nearby trashcan. I felt all the heat drain from my body at that instance and tears clung to my eyelashes like a lifeline when I felt the next wave of nausea hit me. Except this time it included a bonus of pain.

A lot of pain.

After round two of heaving my stomach's contents into the trash bin, I felt myself rocking sideways and next thing I knew, my cheek met the unforgiving glossed wood below and fat tears were escaping onto the floor. I cried so hard that I don't think that it could even be considered as crying, it was more like those heart wrenching sobs that just explode and catch in your throat, and make your own eardrums thrum uncomfortably. My throat began burning so awfully that I began coughing and hacking until my voice was nearly gone. My body hurt so fucking bad; it pulsed sickly with every sob that shook me which only caused me to wail harder. I felt exposed and raw, like I'd break and unravel completely if anything else touched me.

It had to be hours before I finally stopped; and now I was a pathetic figure curled up in a ball, on the floor with puffed red eyes and a broken heart with a body to match. I was shocked stupid when I felt myself smile sadly, while another cold tear ran down my face.

The most pathetic part was that I felt myself beginning to lose faith in myself, and Shrio. And that I sort of enjoyed this sadistic, losing game.

And that I still loved him with everything I had.

_Shirosaki's POV_

I crushed the cigarette that was lit between my lip as I tried to keep my fucking nose and ears warm as possible. I should've brought my jacket with my before I left the house after my little fight with the berry. Oh well. the snow was actually kinda cool once you got used to it. I took the cigarette butt and threw it onto the snow covered floor before hiking my ass back up the street to the house, frowning as I got lost in thought about the events of today.

When I had gotten to the little park that I knew King liked to frequent that was only a few blocks away from the house, I felt real proud of myself. I felt like I had finally established my permanent mark on the little shit in the most effective way that I possibly could. But the more that I thought about it, the more I could remember the way that his body succumbed to me, yet his eyes and stature were a completely different story. What I did was wrong, at least a little bit, I guess? This feeling in my stomach wasn't a good one, and I just felt like I had to go back to the berry, I picked up from a speed walk to a jog.

"Ah! Fuck!"

I stopped suddenly when I felt this sharp ass pain lace through my head, like someone was sticking needles through my fuckin skull slowly. Visions of Ichi when he was locked in his room and screaming at the top of his lungs flashed through my vision. When he would cry out to seemingly no one but I would hear everything.

Pain, agony, desperation, loneliness.

"Damnit, Ichi!"

I fucking sprinted. I don't know how hard I just remember my legs burning by the time I raced up the stairs into Ichigo's room and almost fuckin slipping from the water that was still on my shoes. The first thing I noticed was this god awful smell that filled the room, it smelled really acid-ish and sour, like puke. Next thing I saw had my heart leaping into my throat and caused me to jump for the little orange head; Ichi lying on the floor with his eyes half-mast but glazed over, he was curled up and he was pale as fuck

"Ichigo!"

I picked him up off the floor but he didn't seem to be there, like he was out of his mind or something. I smacked his face lightly and elevated his head while I cradled his limp body close to my own as if he were a kid, I had no idea what to fuckin do! I was fucking panicking my ass off until I noticed his eyes had some life restored into them, but they were filled with a moment of fear, a deep and embedded fear. The same an animal gets when a human approaches it after having a long history of abuse.

I was that human.

"STOP IT!"

I flinched back at the sound of Ichigo's cracked voice breaking the eerie room before I was seeing nothing but static. I felt my mouth open into this wide, silent scream before I was tearing at my hair as if it would stop this fucking screeching in my head and the searing pain. My vision pulsed with the static that was now reddening, and the high pitched ringing that sounded more like squealing at this point made me practically go deaf. It felt as if something the size of a rhino was trying to rip its way out of my skull by force as I desperately cried out for someone to help. I felt my body sag and dared open my eyes barely, I was met with the sight of my knees bent from kneeling on the floor, but the strange thing was that they looked almost translucent, the way smoke does in the air: you can tell it is there, but it isn't completely obstructing your view to what's beyond the smoke. I felt myself becoming the static.

I whimpered pathetically before I suddenly felt something shooting through my head like a bullet going through with ease.

That was it, I was done for.

I fell backwards and crashed with the figure of Ichigo still lying in my arms, I couldn't feel my body anymore, but I could definitely feel his relaxed form in my last moments…

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><p><strong>AN: **Uhh… So I kept listening to 'Whore' by In This Moment while I was typing up the last bit of this chapter, soo… sorry if it's a bit strong /: , I love that song though.**..  
><strong>PHEW BUDDY. Yeah, that chapter was a doozy to come up with. So uhm. I have no excuse this time for straying so far…. I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY DHFIKRFHK… -ahem*  
>I just have an addiction to tumblr now, and I like my job, and people and BAHHH. I'm sorry, no more excuses. I don't plan on giving up on this story, heck no! But it is going to end in the next.. Mmm, I dunno 5 chapters or so? So yeah. There were some strong… themes in this, I guess you could say. But this story can't be done without it, the ugly side of that point between the fine line of reality and just fiction, ya know? But yeap. See y'all real soon; send me PMs, give me ideas on what stories I should write next, review the sex outta me (ohhh baby pleeeaaasuhhh~), and feel free to beat me senseless if I don't come back soon, I'll work extra hard on the next chapter, yeah? I love you, Yeah you. Jan na my dears~<p>

-Your humble Servant,  
>Dani.<p> 


	8. Don't You Ever Forget About Me

**A/N; **-Crawls in slowly while making a pterodactyl screeching noise and sobbing* I HAVE FAILED YE ONCE AGAIN. I AM SO SORRY. I LOVE YOU ALL. –throws chapter at you and continues sobbing, scurries away*

**Warning; **This is a male x male fic, sexual themes are used, along with alcohol, rough language, physical/mental abuse, and slight rape-ish themes as well.

**Disclaimer; **I do not own any part of Bleach. All of it belongs to Tite Kubo.

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><p><em>Normal POV<em>

The wind was cold outside, bitingly so.

It's the type of wind that you can feel building a frost inside of your bones, the type that demanded for any person braving the wind to return to the warm confines of their homes or at the very least the presence of a roaring fire.

Of course, that wasn't the reason why Shirosaki awoke.

Shooting up faster in a sitting position than he thought was physically possible, the demon felt his chest tighten with the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Immediately, lily hands reached up to pat and press against his head where he could've sworn he felt the white hot prickling pain in his head, it felt like he had been stabbed clean through, or shot. Neat eyebrows knitted together in confusion when there was no wound to be found, not even a tender spot or bump of some sort.

He knew he felt that searing pain, but just what was it?

"Fuck" a quiet curse pierced the air as the memories of the night before slammed into the albino like a train going at full speed, everything was becoming crystal clear now.

Thoughts twisted and churned in Shiro's head like restless waves, sloshing against his consciousness and pounding right against it. Sweat collected on a lily brow, and shivers wrecked throughout his body as if a fever was racing through his veins; threatening to burn anything down that was in its way. And this sinking feeling slowly but surely eating away at his stomach and his insides and leaving a bloody trail behind.

He had attacked and basically raped Ichigo.

-x-

"FUCK!"

A set of pearly white teeth gritted together in frustration as Ichigo stubbed his toe and nearly fell flat on his face for was seemed like the millionth time along his path. The ginger's hands rubbed gingerly as the shoe covered appendage before taking off again, his breaths coming out in ragged gasps.

He remembered everything.

Coming home slightly tipsy from the beverages that Grimmjow had provided to find Shirosaki sleeping, he remembered petting him for a while until the albino woke up suddenly. He remembers the harsh words they exchanged, the possessiveness of Shirosaki's moves, his own retorts, the defiance and anger.

And then…

Bile rose up in Ichigo's throat to burn hot in his mouth as tears stung his eyes. By sheer will, the redhead was able to will both the vomit and the tears away as he continued his desperate pace in the chilling wind. He had to talk to someone, it couldn't be Grimmjow though; the man would probably get his panties in a bunch and hunt Shirosaki down, he'd more than likely try to kill him.

A visible shiver coursed through Ichigo's body before stopping at his childhood park to take in every emotion that was pounding through his mind and being, in. He didn't stay long though, for the memories were too raw and venomous, so the redhead headed off in a direction that was opposite to the blue haired deviant, someone who he also could count on.

_Shirosaki's POV_

It is disgusting. Ugly. Filthy. Atrocious. Just straight up the nastiest thing I had ever seen before.

I frowned before turning my head away from that godforsaken mirror that Ichigo had in his room for no goddamn reason. He never used it anyways, always chose to use the bathroom one, so what the fuck's the point anyways?!

Grimacing, I stumbled over to the drawer to retrieve a pair of heather grey skinny jeans and a light weight black sweater that actually belonged to Ichigo with his trade mark '15' printed on the front in yellow print. I could make out shuffling about in the kitchen so I figured it had to be Ichigo getting something to eat. Bugs crawled about under my skin and tightened my insides as I thought of how his fucking reaction it would be when I got down there, I mean, I had to right?

I bit my lip and scratched at the flesh of my forearm before heading down the stairs and walking into the kitchen. It sounded as if someone was frying something greasy on the stovetop; more than likely western styled bacon or ham. I cleared my cotton balled throat (when did it get so hard to talk?) and walked in.

"Yo, Ichi. I know last night was… not what you were expecting but listen—"

"Shi-nii?"

I stopped and stared as I was met with the same big, innocent brown eyes as Ichigo but instead of a head of orange hair, I was looking down at a perplexed Yuzu, who was donning an apron with a strawberry on the corner of the delicate pink fabric it was made of and was holding her spatula down by her side.

"Oh uh.. Hey, Zu" I tired acting cool but with each second that passed by I could feel a splitting migraine coming on and that familiar itch to go find Ichigo creeping up my neck like some killer breathing down my neck.

"Good morning!~ Would you like some breakfast Shi-nii?" Yuzu's demeanor snapped back to its factory settings before she turned back to the stovetop to flip the sizzling mean on the pan over, being careful not to burn it.

"Erm, nah thanks. Do ya know where Ichigo has gone off to though?"

She thought about it for a second before turning to me again, but this time her mouth opened and closed shut like she stopped what she was going to say, her mind halting all thought processes. I cocked my head to the side, irritated and confused before nutmeg eyes widened in confusion and unfamiliarity; Yuzu was blatantly staring at me, and it was kinda sorta really fucking creepy.

"Yuzu?..."

Time seemed like it had gone on standstill or some shit as the kid looked at him as if she had never seen before, her eyes spelled nothing but disbelief, but despite that she did not move an inch. We stood for another few minutes before her glossed over eyes blinked then her chirping voice rang out again, like we didn't have a fucking 5 minute staring contest that she initiated out of fucking nowhere.

"Hmm, can't say I know, I think he was going to a friend's house though!~ Although I find it really rude that he didn't wanna bring you with him—"

"Yah thanks Yuzu!"

I nearly slipped from running to the front door and losing my footing on the carpet, I sneered at the material before reaching for my slip on Docs until..

"What tha fuck..?"

I breathed and stared at my foot before slipping on my shoe, well, more like at the ground that was underneath it.

My foot looked transparent, almost like a fog that wasn't completely translucent, but I could clearly see the wooden floor I was currently stepping on. My head swam as I regained my balance on the heel of my other foot, I felt fucking sick with this headache coming back. Quickly, I shoved my shoe on before I could get sick all over the floor and almost broke down the door running outside, carrying the other shoe in tow and trying my damnedest to pull it on while running at the same time.

That shit didn't work out to well, as my bruised nose now demonstrates.

I snarled internally as I thought about all the shit that had been happening lately, all of its weird as hell but and I'm sure it's all connected, but why though?

'My body seems to be… Weakening, I feel helpless as a fuckin kitten… I'm barely hanging on right now..'

And it was completely true, I had only ran maybe a block or two in a hurried daze and my breath was already coming out in short, choppy breaths. My head and chest were pounding and my knees quivery, and I sure as hell didn't know if it was because I was panicking, or because my body was really going through some type of shut down or some shit. It didn't matter, I kept running.

'Wait… Where tha fuck AM I supposed to go?'

I stopped for a moment after a while to just look around at where I was. I only recognized it as a crossing a few blocks down from the coffee shop I worked at, I really didn't fucking know where I was going at this point. It was then that I just started realizing that it was so damn cold, and it was also my fault considering the fact at this point I was only wearing the thin black sweater with denim and my docs. I felt the cold seeping into my bones and gripping with their chilly fingers. I looked toward the coffee shop and began to stride towards it quickly. I huffed quietly once I entered and took once last biting glare outside.

"Hello!~ Welcome to Café Tart! What can I get started for you today?"

My eyebrows rose at the high pitched (and slightly annoying voice) coming from the front counter. I stepped quickly towards the ever so eccentric Urahara on his shift. I gave an uncomfortable grin to not make too much of a show, all I wanted to do was ask my manager if he had seen Ichi, and check in the back if there was an extra jacket I had left in the lounge area.

"Hey Urahara, what's up?" I heard myself mumble.

The blond looked at me with inquisitive eyes as his grin faded, he cocked his head to the side before looking down at his chest as if looking for something, and looking back at me with his steely eyes even more confused.

This was beginning to confuse me and irritate me more. "What?" I bit out a little more aggressively than I had hoped.

"Uh well.. It's nothing sir, I just wonder how you knew my name like that without my nametag, haha."

And his familiar grin was back.

"Cut it out Urahara, you're creeping me out. Have you seen Ichi?"

"Ichigo Kurosaki? Oh! Are you a friend of his?~ Such a nice boy, a little quiet but his father was—"

I stopped him before he continued rambling, because I knew he could and he would if given the chance, but I mostly did it because—

"STOP ACTING LIKE YA DON'T KNOW ME!"

Urahara's mouth immediately shut closed as he flinched visibly, as he had been slapped. I rolled my eyes before passing him and heading towards the break room in search of a jacket or a sweater or SOMETHING that might shield the cold that could freeze hell over.

"Sir! Wait you aren't allowed to go back there! That's only for employees only!"

I could hear my manager's warning call behind me. I have had enough of it. I turned on my heel sharply before snarling sharply at the blond that was currently making his way over to where I was. Another worker here, this blond kid Tesla, was now managing the counter and looking curiously over to the scene I was making.

"DAMNIT I DO WORK HERE, I'M TRYIN TA FIND SOMEONE AND YER NOT MAKIN IT ANY EASIER FOR ME"

I felt my heart freeze in my chest along with my limbs before I could touch the doorknob; I felt a strong and painful grip on my arm pulling me away from the lounging area.

"Sir, you need to _leave_,"

A small shiver traveled its way down my spine at the sound of the dark tone Kisuke's voice had taken before I felt his strong hands pulling me away from the door I was trying to get to, and instead push me towards the exit doors. I desperately tried to keep my feet planted on the floor but I only kept sliding along the polished floors, my face began to grow hot as I realized many curious eyes of the people in the coffee house were on me, I must've looked like a bratty child not wanting to leave the candy store or some shit.

"Urahara please! Cut it out! Hey if this is because of me missing my shift this morning I'm sorry bu— OOF"

My face was pressed against the cold glass of the door forcefully as Urahara was now trying to push me out of the café. It was so goddamn embarrassing that I couldn't even help but yell in this situation.

"KISUKE I'M SORRY, FUCK JUST STOP PUSHING ME..!"

The pushing stopped and I dared to peek behind my shoulder to meet cloud gray eyes staring at me as if I were an object he had found in the most unlikely of places. His arms dropped by his sides like some sort of damn robot while his eyes remained unblinking. I rubbed my sore arm and turned to face him with a sneer on my mouth and my fists ready by my sides; just in case.

"Ah Shiro san!~"

"You've got ta be kidding me."

A confused looked passed the blond's face before turning into another curious look, but the smile stayed. "Ahh, didn't think I wouldn't realized you were late for your shift, did you? What time is it?"

"uhh." I checked my watch. "almost noon."

He seemed taken aback and chuckled almost nervously. "Ma, really? I could've sworn it was only around 7 last time I checked.. So I suppose it's too late anyways, oh well. Just don't let it happen again!"

I almost unhinged my jaw from how low it dropped; I stared at the man incredulously. "Uhh.. Yeah sure, ok."

"Good!" he turned away as he waved his hand dismissively and walked towards the counter again with Tesla, who seemed to be out of his shell-shocked state as well and was ringing up another customer.

"So, what are you doing here then, Shiro-san? Pay day isn't for another few days."

Cautiously, I walked to the counter again; the customers that were seated all around had long ago stopped paying attention to the spectacle. "I had asked you if you had seen where Ichi was or if he stopped in, remember?"

The blond busied himself by making a medium hot chocolate before looking at me with this doofy-ass look on his face again. "What are you talking about Shi? I don't remember such thing. When was this?~"

Ok. Now I was getting kind of annoyed. "Urhara, ya nearly _shoved_ me out the door when I tried going into the lounge and ya started talking about Isshin as if ya didn't remember I lived with the Kurosakis!"

Urahara simply set the pot of plain coffee he was holding back down and blew his cheeks out in annoyance, and put his hands on his hips mockingly.

"Shiro, you aren't taking any of those hallucinatory drugs are you? You know they do affect your brain cells and CAN leave you brain-dead if you're not careful!"

I only gaped like an idiot at my more-than-usual idiot of a manager. It could've have been just an illusion. All of that, all of it, just happened. The questions, the pushing and shoving, the heavy glances of the customers sitting around, the slight throb that came from Urahara's grip on my shoulder that quietly burned at this moment.

It wasn't just an illusion.

"By the way Shi-san. I think you left a sweater inside of the lounge from one of your past shifts last week!~ Better collect it, it seems incredibly chilly outside right now!"

I could only blink at this point. What else am I supposed to do?

"Ok, thanks."

_Ichigo's POV_

"Gimme another."

Indigo eyes looked at me scolding yet apologetically as a dainty hand smacked my hand away from the tumbler. I felt a scowl coming on before looking sharply at the petite face of one of my oldest best friends. Rukia had always gotten me, from my quiet tendencies to my occasional burst of gay flamboyancy (let me repeat, _occasional_).

She had even believed me when I told her about Shiro before he had manifested into a real person.

Grimmjow himself hadn't really believed me when I confessed to him that I had been hearing whispers, and seeing gold and black eyes, and laughed it off telling me that we just needed to get laid and get drunk more often. But I could definitely see the familiarity in his eyes that one day when he saw Shiro, although I don't think he still fully believes all of it.

"Jus' one more Rukia, please?"

She skipped a beat before sighing defeated, and I almost had to hush myself before I whooped in relief at the raven hesitantly pouring me another shot of some type of dark liquor that burned my throat like medicinal alcohol mixed with acid. The physical feeling itself made my throat clench and ache in protest but emotionally it was causing me to melt and slowly become numb. The Kuchiki manor always had the good shit lying around.

I felt so contradicted; so dirty yet relieved from sexual tension that had been pent up in my body. I could not deny to ven myself that I had always been a sort of masochist, I loved the way Shiro's nails could rake over my skin and cause the flesh to raise and redden from the harsh treatment. I loved waking up with bruises on my hips and neck, turning a deep shade of purple and even greenish. I loved the feel of his unusually sharp canines nearly puncturing my neck as they scraped desperately, looking for purchase before my boyfriend himself released into me which ultimately, led to my own sweet bliss.

I groaned and allowed my head to drop down to the dining table Rukia and I were sitting at with a satisfying 'thunk'.

I felt myself harden ever so little just from the thought of the rough treatment the albino was able to deliver onto my body; it was his canvas for painting the way he would like to.

Except for the way he did yesterday.

I turned my head to face Rukia and looked up at big, understanding violet orbs. I felt my own eyes welling up hot from the feeling of utter helplessness I had felt in the long hours, and yet the way my own body betrayed me but greedily taking every inch Shiro offered me, every push and pull. Hot tears silently tracked down my cheeks and I looked down ashamed at the dark, glossed wood of the dining table. I felt small fingers wiping the tears away before being pulling up forcefully and pushed into Rukia's chest for her to console me. I scrambled against her arms slightly in a slight panic from the sudden physical contact, clawing at her body and trying to breathe once again as I felt myself closing in, and we both broke away from the short lived hug. The raven held her hands up in apology as her eyes screamed for forgiveness at doing that so suddenly,

And I felt like such a dick for it because she had nothing to be sorry about.

I openly burst into unmanly, unruly sobs and slid off from the chair onto the ground, I held my face with my hands and quickly felt them moistening from my breaths and my tear tracks.

"i-I'm s-s-so sorry Ru-Rukia!..."

That's what I think it sounded like, but honestly it had to have been more jumbled then that. I felt her kneel down beside me and cooing softly and gently touching my shoulder to get my attention without frightening me any further. My heart rate sped up considerably, but I didn't necessarily feel panicked, I looked up at her and was surprised to see Rukia on the brink of tears herself, those giant eyes moistening as they locked on me with great sorrow.

"No Ichigo, I'm so sorry.. I should've…. I should've not done that.. I don't want to scare you, oh kami I'm so sorry..!"

My heart ached at how my best friend's voice was strained in the middle of her apology from holding back her own tears, her lip constantly worrying into her lip to stop herself. I felt even more sobs wracking through my body at the sincerity of it, and felt thankful to have her in my life to hold me up this way.

"Ichigo, please, let me hold you for a little bit, you can cry all you'd like, I won't stop you. Is that alright..?"

I heard the meekness of her whisper, and the hesitation as to not scare me. I felt so fucking weak, but I couldn't help it even if I had tried to be macho and brush it off. I nodded slowly but kept my head downcast, I held my arms open wide like I used to with my mom before she died whenever I had fallen off the swing or hurt myself playing sports, my arms trembled slightly.

Rukia gently gathered as much of me as she possibly could in her tiny arms, gently this time, before she began to rock me gently back and forth. I sobbed harder than I ever had done before into her shoulder, the Kuchiki mansion seemed filled to the brim by my agonized sobs despite the fact it was currently only Rukia and I there, the rest of her family was out of town. The emotions spilling out wouldn't seem to stop as they crashed mercilessly into my heart and into my mind; I was so conflicted and so torn that I wasn't sure where I stood anymore, I'm pretty sure I wasn't even standing anymore but rather falling. Why was Shirosaki being so awful, so aggressive and biting? Why is my heart hurting so bad for someone that clearly doesn't care? But then again, why did he get jealous because I was at Grimmjow's house? Hasn't he already made it clear that he doesn't want me around? Do I really want to fight that? Why did that feel so good yet makes me sick to the core thinking about it?

Why is he even still here?

I allowed my mind to quietly calm down before realizing that I had stopped crying finally and I was just hiccupping softly.

'Throat finally got too sore' I figured bitterly.

I opened my puffy eyes to also realize that I was still leaning against Rukia's shoulder and she was still waiting for me patiently, petting my hair and whispering soft things that didn't actually make any sense but were still cmforting anyways. I smiled slightly despite the dull ache in my chest and instead of gipping desperately to her form, I hugged her tentatively. She seemed a bit taken aback but surely enough hugged back with relief that I had initiated the contact.

I quickly became too uncomfortable from the closeness and shakily pulled away; a quick flash of hurt crossed Rukia's face before it was replaced by understanding.

"Thank you Rukia. I didn't mean to—"

"Please, Ichigo you know I love you like a brother, and it kills me to see you so broken.. I feel useless in a situation like this, because I know you won't let me kill him." she muttered darkly.

I could only chuckle meekly because if Rukia said something, she probably would try and get that specific thing done. She was more walk than talk; she had always been that way. And I could only imagine all the ways she could off the albino with it looking like an accident.

I cleared my throat and stood up before padding over to the kitchen sink slowly and turning on the tap, I washed my face all over, including my puffy eyes and red cheeks before I heard Rukia again behind me clear her throat softly from the dining room.

"Ichigo."

I hoped to kami she wasn't about to say what I think she was about to say. "mm?" I dried off my face and tried to keep my voice from quivering.

"… You know you have to let him go right? Forget about Shirosaki?"

And there it was.

I slowly turned to her and kept my eyes on the floor.

"I don't know how to do that."

"You're going to have to."

I hesitated and damned my voice for being so weak. It took several seconds to answer back with a firm answer that still seemed broken beyond belief, and yet it brought more joy out of me than what it should have.

"I know."

_Shirosaki's POV_

I stopped my running before I stepped into the area of the apartment complexes in front of me and felt my body freeze and my eyes widen with an unknown fear that gripped onto my heart tightly like a vice grip.

"Don't… Please just DON'T forget about me…"

I shook my head and blinked in confusion at the sudden outburst; there was no one outside in this cold fuckin weather, so I don't even know who I could've been talking to.

Doesn't matter right now.

I went up the stairs in anticipation before knocking on the door of apartment #609 impatiently. I snarled to myself but kept it quiet when I heard the resounding sound of footsteps behind the door.

'Here goes nothin'

The door opened. I met a pair of frozen blue orbs and a maniac grimace that spelt murder in 20 different languages. My own mouth curved downwards. Fists clenched simultaneously. The temperature dropped several more degrees yet at the same time broke through the roof. I was scared.

"Oh, I've been waiting for you, Shirosaki."

"Grimmjow, always a blast."

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><p>OH MY KAMI. I'M NOT EVEN GONNA GIVE EXCUSES BECAUSE I SUCK SO HARD ;;-;; I even got a message a few months ago asking when I was going to update, and I answered that it would be "probably this week! " and ugh I feel so bad I lied so hard but it's not like I tried to I'm so sorryyyy please I'm sorry! I'm not gonna lie, I did redo this fucking chapter so many times, I scrapped and re-scrapped it a million times it was hard to just LIKE it. ANYWAYS. Now I feel like I know what I'm gonna do next, and I graduated a few months ago! So I'm a bit happier and more confident, so these chapters should be getting better in terms of buildup rather than being a steaming pile of crap. So thank you all for being so patient with me. I apologize so hard. So review, message me, ask questions, keep me posted, and find me on tumblr (shiropantera), I'm getting started on the new chapter right now. (Bt dubs the chapter's name is definitely from a song by Sleeping With Sirens3)<p>

-Your humble Servant,

Dani.


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